How Can You Heal From Betrayal Trauma?
Betrayal trauma occurs when someone who is supposed to take care of you violates your trust or your well-being. It’s something that typically happens in childhood. It’s the responsibility of a parent or caregiver to provide for a child’s basic needs. If that doesn’t happen, that child could deal with the effects of betrayal trauma.
Things like physical, emotional, or sexual abuse perpetrated by a caregiver or someone taking care of you are also all forms of betrayal trauma that can occur at any age.
It’s hard to imagine something worse than being betrayed in such a way by someone who is supposed to love and care for you. Unfortunately, it happens far too often, and the damage is often severe. Betrayal trauma is more than just about a break in trust. It can have lasting negative effects.
Thankfully, it’s possible to heal from this type of trauma with the right help.
What Are the Signs of Betrayal Trauma?
It’s not uncommon for adults who experienced betrayal trauma as a child to attempt to live normal lives. You might not fully remember what happened to you. Or, you might try to block it out as often as possible.
But, no matter when you experience this type of trauma, the signs and symptoms are usually quite telling. Some of the most common symptoms of betrayal trauma include:
Difficulty understanding or expressing your emotions
Nightmares
Anxiety and depression
Panic attacks
Attachment issues
Problems trusting other people
Betrayal trauma can even lead to physical symptoms, like stomach problems and aches and pains. When you internalize your trauma, especially for a long time, your body will end up “storing” it and letting you know something is wrong, whether you actually remember the trauma or not.
The Stages of Betrayal Trauma
Even if you were betrayed as a child, you might only be remembering or coming to terms with that trauma now. It’s important to understand that there are stages to work through, and healing from this type of trauma takes time.
It’s perfectly normal and expected for the first stage to be shock and disbelief. After all, you trusted this person. They were supposed to take care of you, and they hurt you instead.
The second stage can cause you to experience a rollercoaster of emotions. You’ll likely go from being sad to frustrated and angry to confused — and everything in between. Allow yourself to fully feel and experience these emotions. Don’t try to ignore them or push them down, but don’t stay in those negative depths forever.
Finally, you’ll step into the third stage where healing really begins. You’ll be able to rebuild trust, boost your sense of self-worth, and open yourself up to others again.
The Journey Toward Healing
Once you reach that third stage, a whole new journey begins — a journey toward healing. It starts with accepting what happened. That’s not always easy to do, especially if you’ve been trying to ignore or avoid it for a long time.
But, the sooner you accept the trauma as real, the sooner you’ll be able to recognize that it doesn’t have to have power over you.
Again, don’t hesitate to really feel your emotions. Bottling things up will only make the recovery process longer and more difficult. Lean on your support system and let people in to help you. Open up to the people you love and trust, and you’ll quickly see that they want to help in whatever ways possible.
Finally, don’t hesitate to reach out to us about trauma therapy. Betrayal trauma can be deeply painful, and even confusing. You’re not alone, and you can find a sense of security again while building your self-esteem.