Tips for Communicating Effectively as a Family

It can seem like some families just “click” when it comes to communication. Everyone is open and honest and has no problems showing vulnerability. But that is not the case for everyone.

Family communication does not always come naturally. Personalities can be a factor, as well as family history or simply the dynamic everyone grew up with, but ignoring communication issues within your family will only make matters worse. It is important to be able to communicate with each other in healthy, effective ways that will carry on to the next generation.

With that in mind, here are some tips you can use to communicate effectively as a family so you can start putting them into practice right away.

Be an Active Listener

Communication is a two-way street. While being able to talk about your feelings and needs is important, it is just as essential to be a good listener.

Listening and hearing are two different things. To be an active listener, eliminate distractions when a family member is trying to talk to you. Give them the time and space they need to express themselves, and make sure your attention is on them.

Use verbal and nonverbal cues to let them know that you are listening. Ask questions and repeat statements as needed. This kind of listening will help that person feel understood and valued. Not only will it improve communication, but it will make them more likely to be an active listener when you speak, too.

Use “I” Statements

It can be easy to play the blame game in relationships — including familial ones, but even if a family member is hurting or challenging you in some way, try to avoid pointing fingers.

Instead of suggesting that they are in the wrong, use “I” statements to let them know how you feel about the issue. Chances are, your family is not trying to hurt you or cause problems on purpose. When they know how things are affecting you, the negative actions are more likely to stop.

Shift Perspective

One of the great things about families is that they are made up of many different personalities. Of course, that can also be what causes everyone to clash sometimes.

Empathy is an important communication tool, especially when it comes to dealing with family members. Try to shift your perspective and think about how other family members might be thinking or feeling. When you acknowledge those feelings, you can respond with compassion and respect.

Individual Communication Styles

You are not always going to have big family meetings with everyone involved. While it can be great to get multiple people together as often as possible, most of your interactions with family members will probably be one-on-one.

So, try to learn and understand everyone’s different communication styles. Everyone has unique needs and feelings. By focusing on those things while communicating with one person at a time, you can adjust your own communication style to meet those needs. Doing so is likely to result in a better, more open experience for all parties during every conversation.

Reach Out for Help

Again, family communication is important, but it is not always easy. If you feel like there are roadblocks keeping you from healthy, effective communication with your family, you do not have to work through them alone.

Family therapy is a great way to better understand why those roadblocks are there. What caused them, and what can you do about them? You will learn more about your own communication style and needs, and healthy ways to show vulnerability and open up around your family. Feel free to reach out for more information or to set up a consultation soon.

Fostering a Positive Self-Image in Teens

The teenage years can be difficult. Teens go through a lot that you might not think about. They’re dealing with hormonal and bodily changes. They’re trying to fit in, socially, while staying true to themselves. On top of that, they’re learning who they really are and who they want to be. 

Add in academic pressure and worries about what they might do in the future, and it’s no wonder so many teens struggle with mental health issues — including poor self-image. 

Promoting a sense of mental well-being for the teenager in your life is important. It will teach them how to prioritize their mental health at an early age. If you notice that your teen is struggling specifically with self-image, there are things you can do to help them change their perspective, too. 

Let’s look at a few different ways you can foster a positive self-image in teens. 

Validate Their Feelings

Even if your teen is dealing with negative feelings, it’s important that they feel seen, heard, and understood. 

Let them know their feelings are valid. Talk to them about better understanding where those feelings come from. When they know what’s causing a negative self-image, they’ll be able to start fighting back against it. It will also give you a better idea of how to help them work through things. 

Validation is key in letting them know that their feelings matter — including the negative ones. 

Avoid Comparisons

It’s human nature to compare ourselves to other people. Unfortunately, that seems to be an even bigger problem for teens, especially in this social media-filled world. 

Encourage your teen to be self-compassionate and kind to themselves. Help them avoid comparisons by limiting social media time and instead having them focus on their strengths and positive qualities. 

Positive affirmations each day can help your teen recognize their value and worth. They’ll start to see everything they have to offer that’s unique and specific to them, so they’ll be less likely to stick to comparisons of other people. 

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can be used for more than just anxiety. It’s a great way for teens to pause and start thinking about how they can respond to negative thoughts in a positive, productive way. 

It’s not uncommon for teenagers to be impulsive of make quick decisions without thinking things through. By encouraging mindfulness, you can help your teen slow down to look at the reality of a situation. Sometimes, that’s all it takes to keep negative self-talk from creeping in. 

Be a Positive Role Model

It might not always seem like your teenager is watching you, but they are. You are still the first person they look to when it comes to how they should live their life. 

So, make sure you’re living yours with a positive self-image. Don’t put yourself down or focus on the negative things about yourself you want to change. Show confidence and self-compassion, and avoid comparing yourself to others. 

By being a positive self-image role model, you’ll give your teen a blueprint for how they can see themselves in a better light without letting external factors change their perspective. 

Self-Care

Self-care looks different for everyone, especially depending on the stage of life you’re in. For a teenager, it might include getting enough sleep, staying physically active, journaling, or meditating. 

Self-care is a great way to encourage mental wellness at any age. It can help to reduce your teen’s stress while allowing them to foster a positive self-image. When they recognize they’re worthy of daily self-care, they’re more likely to feel confident and comfortable in their own skin. 

If you’re concerned that your teen is still struggling with self-image issues, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. Again, encouraging mental wellness now can go a long way for your teen’s future. Contact me for more information or to set up an appointment for family counseling soon. 

5 Signs Your Family Could Benefit from Therapy

Many people think of therapy as an individual experience, and it certainly can be. Working one-on-one with a therapist is a great way to deal with underlying mental health issues while learning how to prioritize your well-being. 

But, family therapy can also be beneficial. 

You might joke about having a “dysfunctional” family, or think that everyone’s family has their own issues. That might be true, to an extent. But, there are some clear signs that the problems in your family run deeper. If you’ve never considered family therapy before, it might be time to start, especially if the issues within your family unit are impacting your well-being. 

With that in mind, let’s look at a few signs your family could benefit from therapy, so you can take action. 

1. Constant Conflict

Families are made up of different personalities. You’re going to butt heads and deal with conflict at times. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing. 

If you’re able to work through your conflicts in healthy, effective ways, they can actually strengthen your family unit and make you closer. But, if there are frequent arguments and no one seems willing to compromise or see any perspective but their own, it’s a sign that therapy could be necessary.

2. Communication Issues

Healthy communication is essential in relationships — including familial ones. 

Maybe certain family members feel like they aren’t being heard, or that their feelings are being validated. Maybe you’re dealing with different communication styles and it’s causing tension. Some people might have a hard time truly listening and understanding what others are trying to say. 

Communication issues can wreak havoc on a family, but they can also often be remedied with the right kind of professional help.

3. Life Changes

Everyone deals with life transitions. Maybe it’s a big move to a new location, a job change, a divorce, or a death in the family. Whether the change is good or bad, it can cause stress within a family. Everyone handles stress differently, and your coping strategies might clash. 

Therapy can help your family work through major life changes together. Instead of trying to cope and move forward on your own, you can lean on one another, learn how to express your feelings and needs, and move forward together.

4. Behavioral Issues

Family therapy isn’t just for adults. If your child is acting out or you’re dealing with behavioral issues, therapy can help you learn how to manage them while prioritizing your mental health and wellness. 

If you’re willing to let your child work with a therapist, they can learn more about what’s causing their negative thoughts and feelings, as well as healthy ways to cope rather than acting out. Teaching your children from a young age how to manage their mental well-being can be extremely beneficial for their futures.

5. Blended Families

According to the Census Bureau, about 40% of families in the United States are blended. There’s often no reason why blended families can’t get along and live harmoniously with each other. But, that doesn’t mean there will never be issues. 

Blended families can deal with cultural differences, different parenting styles, and more. Therapy can help your blended family better understand each other so you can all work together to create a new, strong unit. If you’re clashing or having problems with your children coming together, therapy can make a difference. 

If you’ve never considered family therapy before, it’s not a bad time to start. If any of the issues here sound familiar, your family could likely benefit from working with a professional. Don’t hesitate to contact me for more information about family therapy or to set up an appointment soon. 

The Role of Therapy in Building Teenage Resilience

Building resilience in the teenage years is more crucial than most people realize. As a parent or caregiver, you already have a lot on your plate when it comes to how to guide your teen, but helping them foster resilience now will make it easier for them to face challenges and keep moving forward as young adults and beyond.

There are many ways to help your teen build resilience. But, therapy can play a big role. Not only will it teach your teen how to prioritize their mental health from an early age, but it can build problem-solving skills and improve their self-awareness and confidence. 

Let’s take a closer look at the role of therapy in building teenage resilience. 

Teens and Mental Health

It can be hard to look at your teen and consider that they might be struggling with their mental health. But, think about everything on their plate. Teenagers have to deal with hormonal and physical changes while navigating relationships, thinking about school, and considering their futures. 

On top of those “normal” everyday worries, we’re living in a world with political unrest, wars, cyberbullying, and more. Today’s teens have been through a global pandemic, and continue to face challenges in the aftermath of COVID. 

So, your teen’s mental health is nothing to take lightly. Consider how resilient they have already had to be when faced with so many challenges, big and small. Now is a great time to step in as a parent, and offer a helping hand with therapy. 

How Does Therapy Help With Resilience?

Therapy can benefit your teenager in a variety of ways. If they’re struggling with their mental well-being, a therapist can help them understand where those issues are coming from. Therapy will also teach your teen healthy strategies to cope with those issues. 

Even if your teenager doesn’t seem to be struggling, therapy can help with emotion management, problem-solving, and coping with challenges. You can’t protect your teen from every challenge and hurdle. It’s important to let them fail sometimes. But, it’s their resiliency that will help them get back up and try again as they journey toward adulthood. 

Teaching Healthy Techniques

Therapy can also teach your teen techniques like mindfulness. Mindfulness has become a bit of a buzzword lately, but it’s highly effective when done the right way. 

Mindfulness is the practice of staying grounded in the present. Anxiety is regularly fueled by the “what ifs” of the world. If your teen is facing a challenge, they might start to worry about what will happen if they fail, or what they will do to keep going. 

Mindfulness will help them stay focused on the here and now, rather than worrying about what’s ahead or focusing on past failures. With a few simple breathing techniques, they can reduce stress and move forward, no matter what. 

The Role of Acceptance

In addition to mindfulness, therapy can also help your teen with acceptance. Teenagers don’t have fully formed prefrontal cortexes. As a result, it’s not always easy for them to see the big picture of things. So, if something goes wrong in their lives, it can feel overwhelming, and they might have a hard time seeing past it. 

Therapy can help your teen with acceptance — understanding that they will have challenges and failures, but they can learn from them and move forward. 

Family therapy is a great way for your teen to start prioritizing their mental health. They’ll learn healthy coping skills, be in better touch with their emotions, and build resiliency every step of the way. If you’re ready to set up an appointment for your teen, don’t hesitate to reach out today.

Effective Parenting Strategies for High Achievers

Encouraging your child to be a high achiever is different from expecting perfection or putting pressure on them that they can’t handle. It’s good to want what’s best for your child and to encourage them to reach their full potential, but it’s important to approach your parenting strategies the right way.

Maybe you’re a high achiever and you want to instill the same characteristics in your child. Or, maybe they’ve already gravitated toward being high-achieving individuals themselves.

Whatever the case, adopting the right strategies will make a big difference. You can help to boost their confidence and encourage them while allowing them to express themselves and enjoy the fun and growth that are part of growing up.

With that in mind, let’s look at a few effective parenting strategies for high achievers.

Be a Source of Constant Support

Your child should know from an early age that how they perform will never dictate how much you love them or how much you support them. Teach them about emotional intelligence rather than making your sole focus on performance.

By showing your support, no matter what, you’ll let your child know that their emotions matter. They will feel validated, whether they’re struggling or celebrating their successes. That can go a long way in building confidence. They’ll be more likely to try new things rather than stick to the activities they know they’re already good at.

Encourage a Growth Mindset

Speaking of your child trying new things, helping them foster a growth mindset will benefit them well into adulthood.

A growth mindset will allow your child to be a lifelong learner. They will develop more natural curiosities and a willingness to think outside the box. You can foster a love of learning from an early age, but make sure it goes beyond academics. Instead, focus on helping your child grow in every area of life so they can discover their true passions.

Let Them Fail

High achievers can be hard on themselves when they experience failure. But they will experience failure. Everyone does at some point.

As a parent, it can be hard to watch your child stumble, but it’s even more difficult to see them struggle with the aftermath.

Although it can be tempting to step in and fix things for them, try not to. Offer your help and support, but allow them to fail and learn from it. All failures should be a learning experience and an opportunity to grow. So, provide helpful advice and encouragement, but don’t step in to make their failures disappear.

Help Them Manage Stress

High achievers tend to put a lot of pressure on themselves. Some can even be perfectionists. So, it’s important to make sure your child knows how to manage their stress effectively.

Encouraging self-care practices is one of the best ways to help them with stress. Things like getting enough sleep, eating healthy meals, and regularly exercising can make stress management a part of their everyday routine.

Teaching them the importance of mental self-care can also make a big difference. Journaling, mindfulness and meditation, and simply speaking up about their mental health can also help with stress.

Most importantly, encourage them to find a healthy balance between the work they want to accomplish and taking care of themselves. It can be a learning curve for both you and your child, but once they’re able to find that balance, it will be harder for stress to overwhelm them.

If you notice that your child is struggling to find a balance or their stress is becoming too much for them to handle, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. If your child takes advantage of therapy now, they’ll learn how to manage their mental well-being as adults while still reaching for their goals. Reach out us to learn more about family therapy.

How Is The Teen Brain Different?

Have you ever wondered what’s going on inside your teen’s mind? No, that’s not a rhetorical question. Teenagers tend to get stereotyped for the way they think and the actions they take. But, if you’ve ever thought that your teen isn’t thinking things through — you’re right. 

But, it’s not because they don’t want to. 

The teen brain is actually quite different from a full-fledged adult mind. Understanding those differences can help you better understand your teenager. It will also set you up to guide them in the right direction and foster healthy and effective growth as they get older. 

Let’s take a closer look at some of those differences, and how they impact the way your teen thinks. 

The Teen Brain Isn’t Fully Developed

It’s easy to assume that by the time your child hits their teenage years, their brain is fully formed. But, an area of the brain called the prefrontal cortex doesn’t fully develop until around the age of 25. 

This area of the brain is responsible for things like setting prioritizing, planning ahead, and decision-making. If your teen seems impulsive or finds temptation in new ideas easily, it could be because of the prefrontal cortex. 

You can help them by encouraging them to plan ahead and think things through as often as possible. While it won’t necessarily speed up the development of the brain, it will set them up for success as the prefrontal cortex continues to grow. They’ll be more likely to make smart, thought-out decisions as they enter adulthood. 

The Teen Brain is Adaptable

Because the teenage brain isn’t fully formed, it can be somewhat malleable. It’s influenced by social situations, personal experiences, and even challenging situations. 

One of the best things you can do for your teenager is to challenge them with new experiences that will help them grow. Creative endeavors, like playing music or participating in art, can help the brain to mature faster and respond positively to new or challenging situations in the future. 

The Teen Brain Handles Stress Differently

When you think back on your teenage years, you might remember them as the best time of your life. But, you undoubtedly dealt with stress, and your teenager is dealing with it right now. 

Unfortunately, teens don’t typically handle stress as well as adults. It can have a direct impact on their mental well-being, making them more susceptible to issues like depression or anxiety. 

As a parent, make sure you’re consistently checking in on your teen’s mental health. Make sure mental wellness is a frequent topic at home, so you can get rid of any stigma your teen might have exposure to. When they learn the importance of mental wellness early on, they’ll be more likely to take those skills with them into adulthood. 

Understanding the Teenage Brain

One of the greatest aspects of the teenage brain is that it’s quite resilient. So, even if your teen does struggle with mental health issues or has a hard time dealing with stress, don’t assume the worst. 

There are things you can do to help them work through those issues and prioritize their mental health. Take comfort in the fact that their resiliency can help them bounce back from symptoms of extreme sadness, fear, or even hopelessness. While you can’t change things for them, you can serve as a support system along the way. 

So, the next time you wonder what might be going on in your teenager’s head, understand that their brain doesn’t work the same way yours does, but it’s changing and adapting all the time. When you recognize how those differences impact your teen, you can support their learning journey and take pride in watching them grow. 

Reach out to us to learn more about family therapy.

How To Practice Positive Parenting With Your Child

Positive parenting isn’t necessarily a new approach to raising children. However, it’s gained traction over the last few years thanks to the benefits. Studies have shown that positive parenting can boost a child’s self-esteem, help them do better in school, and improve their overall mental health. 

Additionally, when you practice positive parenting, you’re serving as a role model for your children. When you treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion, they’re likely to treat others the same way. 

Of course, positive parenting isn’t about ignoring problems or avoiding healthy discipline. So, how can you make sure you’re getting it right? 

Let’s cover some positive parenting practices you can use right away with your child. 

What Is Positive Parenting? 

Before you dive into the world of positive parenting, you have to know what it looks like and how it will fit with your family. 

Positive parenting focuses on the relationship between you and your child. It is the practice of recognizing what your child needs and providing it in a caring, loving, and kind way. That doesn’t mean giving them every little thing they want. Positive parenting doesn’t mean there’s no discipline or rules. 

However, instead of “traditional” punishments, positive parenting focuses on how you can guide your child to make the right choices. You’ll learn how to effectively communicate with your child, and they’ll learn what’s necessary to communicate right back. When they’re able to express their needs in healthy, effective ways, there is less likely to be any discord in your relationship. 

Positive parenting also focuses on the importance of healthy boundaries. Boundaries can improve just about any relationship, but they’re especially effective for parents and kids. When your child knows the boundaries that are in place, they have a choice to stay within those boundaries. When they don’t, there are consequences that need to be laid out ahead of time so they understand exactly how they will be disciplined for crossing a line. 

How to Introduce Positive Parenting

So, how can you be a more positive parent? You don’t have to completely change your parenting style to start introducing aspects of positive parenting into your life. 

Start by communicating with your child more often. Talk to them about their day, or get involved in their interests and hobbies. Open communication builds trust and intimacy. Your child will also feel respected and understood, and they’re more likely to offer the same respect, in return. 

Set limits by giving your child choices. When you dictate every little choice in their life, they’re not going to be able to grow like they should when it comes to problem-solving and critical thinking. They might also feel stifled. While you’re still in charge of the choice, give your child some options you’re okay with for them to choose from. Giving them this bit of responsibility while still having limits in place can provide more balance to your relationship. 

Finally, praise them for the good things you see. Far too often, parents are quick to focus on the negative behaviors of their children. You might want to discipline your child for behaving poorly, or you might pick out something they did wrong. Instead of dwelling on those things, make sure you’re also pointing out what they get right. 

Celebrating your child’s strengths will boost their self-confidence and make it easier for them to stay on a positive track. 

Positive parenting is all about guidance. It doesn’t mean there will never be setbacks or that you’ll never get frustrated. But, by putting these ideas into practice, you can enjoy a calmer, gentler, and more respectful relationship with your child.  Reach out to learn more about family therapy or child therapy.

5 Signs of Anger Issues In Your Teenager

Teenagers are often stereotyped as moody with unpredictable attitudes. Unfortunately, sometimes, those stereotypes exist for a reason. But when you consider what teens are going through, it makes sense. 

The teenage years are a time of change. Not only are they going through physical and hormonal changes, but they’re trying to figure out who they are and who they want to be. 

There’s a difference between “typical” teenage moodiness and anger. Anger can end up being dangerous and can sometimes be a sign of other mental health issues your teenager might be struggling with. 

So, how can you tell if your teenager is dealing with anger issues? Thankfully, there are some common signs to look for. 

1. Shutting Down

Shutting down might not seem like a sign of anger, but it can actually be quite serious. If your teen starts to withdraw from things they love, stop spending time with friends, and refuse to have conversations, they could be trying to figure out how to control their emotions. 

They might be dealing with extreme anger under the surface. But, they don’t know how to regulate those emotions or handle them in a safe and healthy way. So, they internalize and essentially try to become “numb” to what they’re feeling. 

This isn’t sustainable. Emotions always demand to be felt. They’re more likely to “boil over” at some point, so do what you can to talk to your teen if you feel like they’re shutting down. 

2. Emotional Outbursts

On the other end of the spectrum, some teens with anger issues might start to have emotional outbursts. These go beyond mood swings. These outbursts tend to be extreme. Your teen might yell, curse, and even try to destroy things. 

While it’s not a fun process, one of the ways you can help is by figuring out what triggers these outbursts, so you can get to the root cause of their anger. 

3. Bullying

Bullying others can be a sign of anger issues trying to work their way out in unhealthy ways. Your teen might be struggling with their emotions so much that they’re having trouble controlling their impulses. So, it leads them to pick on others without thinking of the consequences. 

If your teen has started to become a bully, remind them of the consequences. Offer healthier ways for them to express their anger that don’t involve harming others. 

4. Substance Abuse

As another way to cope with their emotions, some teens might try to numb what they’re feeling by turning to drugs or alcohol. Substance abuse is already a risk for teens due to issues like peer pressure. But, when your teenager is trying to mask their anger or get rid of those negative feelings, drugs can feel like a temporary fix. 

Unfortunately, this habit can quickly lead to substance abuse and addiction. Your teen might start to need more and more of whatever they’re taking in order for it to work, and even taking a drug one time can be dangerous. If you’ve seen any signs of substance use in your teen, it’s essential to get them help immediately. 

5. Self-Harm

Anger issues can often be overwhelming for teenagers who aren’t ready to handle such difficult emotions. They might be so intense that they can cause your teen to start hurting themselves. 

Self-harm is nothing to take lightly. Unfortunately, it can come in many forms and isn’t always easy to recognize right away. If you see any signs of self-harm from your teen, intervene immediately to get them the help they need. 

Anger issues in teenagers often stem from something deeper. Don't hesitate to reach out if you’ve noticed any of these signs. We can help your teen sort through their emotions and learn how to manage their anger effectively. with teen counseling or family therapy.

How To Ease A Child's Worries About Going To School

Summer is winding down and school is starting up again across the country. It can be an exciting time for kids, but it can also be a little nerve-wracking. If you have a young child, they might not know what to expect. 

Even if your child is a bit older, they might have reservations about the new school year. Maybe they’re not sure how they will make new friends, or they’re intimidated by their class schedule. 

We all tend to fear the unknown, and worries about school are no different. 

Thankfully, there are things you can do to ease your child’s worries about school and provide them reassurance and comfort as they head to class this year. 

Establish a Routine

Everyone needs a routine, but it’s especially important for kids and teenagers. Ideally, you can establish a routine for school a few weeks before classes actually start. But, even if your child has already begun the school year, it’s not too late. 

Your daily routine should include things like getting up around the same time each day, having breakfast, having a chat, etc. Find what works for you in the mornings. It will set the tone for your child’s day. 

An after-school/nighttime routine can also be a source of comfort and familiarity. That consistency is important in a child’s life and will help them feel secure even when they’re worried about school. 

Introduce Them to Their Teachers

Most teachers are all too happy to meet their students ahead of time — especially if it helps to ease their minds. If your child is nervous about a new school or teacher, schedule a walk-through of the building and let them meet at least one, if not all of the teachers they’ll interact with throughout the year. 

Having that little bit of familiarity before they start the school year can make a big difference in their confidence. They’ll feel more comfortable around the teacher and more self-assured that they can make their way around the school without getting lost or feeling overwhelmed. 

Connect Them With Friends

Speaking of familiar faces, have your child connect with classmates before school starts. Set up play dates for younger kids, or go on group outings with other parents and children. It’s a great way to form relationships before school begins, so they have some familiarity in the crowd on the first day of class. 

Even having just one familiar friend can make a difference. So, help your child establish those healthy connections before the first day; they’re less likely to feel overwhelmed by the uncertainties around them. 

Listen to Them

As a parent or caregiver, one of the best things you can do for your child is to offer your support — and a listening ear. 

If they struggle in school, ensure they know their feelings are valid. Ask them what might help, and listen to their suggestions before offering some of your own. Often, your child won’t want you to “fix” things. They’ll just want to be heard. 

Reach Out for Help

If your child continues to struggle with worries or fear about going to school, it’s worth reaching out to a professional for help. Therapy can be a great way to get to the root cause of your child’s worries. Understanding those underlying causes is the best way to chip away at them. 

Therapy can also make it easier for your child to learn how to manage and eventually overcome those worries. It can be empowering and give them the confidence they need to move forward. 

So, as the school year begins, do what you can to provide consistency and support for your child. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to reach out for anxiety treatment or family therapy.

How To Cope With Parenting Stress

Being a parent is one of the most rewarding jobs you’ll ever have. It’s also one of the most stressful. 

Don’t let those parents on social media fool you — it’s stressful for everyone, even those who try to depict their family lives as perfect. But, even when you realize that no parent escapes without some stress, it doesn’t automatically take away your own. 

So, what can you do when you feel like you’re at your wits’ end? How can you handle the everyday stress of parenting on top of worrying about your children’s future? 

Take a deep breath, and let’s cover a few effective strategies that can help. 

Don’t Ignore It

You don’t have to be a super mom or dad 24/7. You might think that in order to be a good parent, you have to ignore your stress and keep pushing forward for your family. But, the more you try to ignore your stress, the more likely it is to grow. 

Eventually, it’ll boil over. 

Instead, acknowledge that you’re stressed or burnt out. It’s the first step toward actually doing something about it. When you admit your stress to yourself, you’ll be more likely to find effective solutions to deal with it and reduce it. 

Have Fun With Your Kids

Raising children is an incredible responsibility, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make time for fun. In fact, you can get your kids involved in some of your interests, or take part in their own and let your inner child come out. 

If you love to read on your own, take some time to read with your child each night. If you’re a music lover, share your favorite bands with your child, or help them learn an instrument. You can educate your kids and have fun, all at once. 

Practice Self-Care

Self-care isn’t selfish. While you might be tempted to always put your kids first, you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you aren’t taking the time to care for yourself, you’re not going to be the parent you really want to be. 

Make sure you’re prioritizing sleep, eating healthy, exercising, and maintaining your mental well-being. Things like journaling, meditation, and mindfulness are all great forms of self-care.

Additionally, don’t lose your sense of self. Do things you enjoy on your own or with your partner or friends from time to time. Maintaining your identity is important to your overall well-being, and it will help you recognize that your identity isn’t solely tied to your parenting role. 

Ask for Help

Remember that you’re not alone. If you’re married or have a partner, lean on each other for support when it comes to raising your kids. If you’re feeling especially burnt out or stressed, tell them, and ask for a little more help. 

Even if you’re a single parent, you’re not without support. Reach out to family members or friends, or consider joining a local parenting group so you can help other parents who might be dealing with stress, too. 

If the stress of parenting is starting to impact your quality of life, don’t hesitate to ask for a different kind of help — for your own mental well-being. Consider talking to a therapist or counselor about what you’re feeling. They’ll be able to help you identify the real source of your stress and work with you to develop effective management strategies. 

While you’ll never be able to completely eliminate the stress of parenting, there are things you can do to make it easier to handle, and you don’t have to tackle it on your own. Feel free to contact us for more information or to set up an appointment for family therapy

3 Steps To Take If You Want To Improve Family Communication

Healthy communication is essential in any successful relationship – not just romantic ones. While you might not think about how communication issues can impact your family, they can create more problems than you realize. 

Maybe communication efforts haven’t changed in your family for years because everyone has gotten used to it. Maybe no one knows how to improve those efforts. But, a lack of healthy communication can cause discord, confusion, and strained relationships. 

The good news? It’s never too late to improve family communication. Whether you’re a parent, a grown child still struggling to have healthy conversations with your parents, or you want to foster a better connection with your family, let’s cover a few ways to improve communication and build stronger relationships. 

1. Make Time to Talk

There’s no denying that we’re living in a busy world. Technology causes us to move at a rapid pace. Schedules are more packed than ever. People in families have different responsibilities, obligations, appointments, and interests. 

While having a busy schedule isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it can cause communication within the family unit to suffer. You might feel like you communicate with your family regularly, but is it just small talk while you’re heading out the door? Or, do you chat with each other while you’re all distracted by phones, computers, or televisions? 

One of the best things you can do to improve family communication is to make more time for it. Yes, life is busy, but there’s a good chance that everyone within the family can spare some time each week to dedicate solely to family communication. Even if that means having dinner together a few times a week with no electronics, or going for a family walk on weekend mornings. 

Having dedicated, scheduled time will put everyone in the right frame of mind. It will also help to eliminate distractions, and show every family member that what they have to say really matters. 

2. Be an Active Listener

Being a better communicator isn’t just about talking. In fact, some might argue that the listening aspect of communication is even more important. 

Everyone deserves to be heard and understood, especially if there are some lingering underlying issues within your family. 

Choose to be an active listener when anyone in your family is sharing something. That means more than just hearing what they have to say. Make eye contact, don’t interrupt, and pay attention to non-verbal communication, too. Ask questions, and repeat statements if you need clarification. 

When someone feels like you’re truly listening to what they have to say, they’re more likely to open up, and they’ll also likely become an active listener, in return. 

3. Calmly Communicate

If you feel like there are some communication issues within your family, don’t wait until you’re frustrated, hurt, or angry to bring them up. No matter what you need to discuss, it’s important to communicate calmly. 

Ideally, you’ll talk about things before they become bigger issues than they need to be. But, if you’re already in a place of frustration, say that. Let your family know that you need some time and space to calm down and organize your thoughts so you can communicate clearly. 

That simple step can make a big difference in what you say later, and can de-escalate a negative situation quickly. When you’re willing to step back and speak calmly, other family members are likely to do the same. 

There are many other steps you can take to improve family communication, but consider these to help you get started. In doing so, you can build stronger relationships with the people close to you, and potentially break generational cycles that were stuck thanks to years of poor communication efforts. 

If you are struggling to communicate in your relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out to us to learn more about family therapy.

Can Depression Run In Families?

Depression is one of the most common mental health conditions in the world. There are so many factors that can contribute to it, and some even stem from childhood. 

But, if you’re struggling with depression, have you ever wondered if it can run in the family? Are genetics to “blame” for your mental health? 

Yes and no. There’s not a clear indicator that depression is “inherited” by family members. However, there are some genetic markers that might make put you at a greater risk of developing depression than others. 

Let’s take a closer look at some of the connections between genetics and depression, so you can have a better idea of whether your family is directly impacting your mental health. 

Depression and Your Genes

Multiple studies have shown that certain conditions - including depression - might be connected to specific genes. However, no one has been able to pin down a single gene that actually causes depression. 

With that in mind, it’s difficult to say that your depression comes from your parents, grandparents, etc. You can look at different sets of genes and compare the people in your family who had depression to those who didn’t. But, as of now, it’s impossible to know which sets of genes actually cause conditions like anxiety or depression. 

What you can determine, however, is that you’re probably more likely to experience depression (or anxiety) if it runs heavily in your family. There are certain gene combinations contributing to these conditions, even if research can’t tell you exactly what you are. 

Will You Absolutely Get Depression? 

Does that mean if your parents have depression you’ll also experience it? Absolutely not. There are plenty of people living in families where depression runs rampant, but they don’t experience it, themselves. 

Genetics is only part of the equation when it comes to depression. You also have to consider your environment and the situations you’ve been through in life. Can you be more susceptible to depression based on your genes? Sure. But, that doesn’t mean you’ll automatically experience it. 

What Are the Warning Signs?

If you feel like depression runs in your family and you’re worried you might be susceptible to it, there are a few warning signs to look out for. 

One of the biggest warning signs of depression is a feeling of hopelessness. It’s normal to feel “down” sometimes, and even sad about things. But, when those feelings linger for long periods of time and you feel both helpless and hopeless, you might be dealing with depression. 

Another warning sign is isolation. People with depression often withdraw from loved ones, and tend to pull away from doing things they typically enjoy. Unfortunately, that can make your negative thoughts even worse. 

Finally, don’t ignore any physical signs you might be experiencing. Depression can sometimes cause a lack of energy, increased irritability, and changes in your eating and/or sleeping habits. 

What Can You Do? 

Again, don’t assume that just because depression runs in your family it means you’ll be diagnosed with the condition. However, it’s important to be vigilant. If depression does seem to be genetic in your family, be proactive about it. 

If you think you’re experiencing symptoms, the best thing you can do is reach out to a mental health professional. When you work with a therapist, you’ll be able to get to the underlying cause of your depression, whether it’s your family or other external factors. You’ll also learn the skills necessary to manage your symptoms and eventually overcome the depression. 

Whether depression runs in your family or not, you don’t have to deal with it forever. You can break the cycle right now by getting the help you deserve. Don’t hesitate to contact us for more information about depression treatment or family therapy.