How Can You Heal From Betrayal Trauma?

Betrayal trauma occurs when someone who is supposed to take care of you violates your trust or your well-being. It’s something that typically happens in childhood. It’s the responsibility of a parent or caregiver to provide for a child’s basic needs. If that doesn’t happen, that child could deal with the effects of betrayal trauma. 

Things like physical, emotional, or sexual abuse perpetrated by a caregiver or someone taking care of you are also all forms of betrayal trauma that can occur at any age. 

It’s hard to imagine something worse than being betrayed in such a way by someone who is supposed to love and care for you. Unfortunately, it happens far too often, and the damage is often severe. Betrayal trauma is more than just about a break in trust. It can have lasting negative effects. 

Thankfully, it’s possible to heal from this type of trauma with the right help. 

What Are the Signs of Betrayal Trauma?

It’s not uncommon for adults who experienced betrayal trauma as a child to attempt to live normal lives. You might not fully remember what happened to you. Or, you might try to block it out as often as possible. 

But, no matter when you experience this type of trauma, the signs and symptoms are usually quite telling. Some of the most common symptoms of betrayal trauma include: 

• Difficulty understanding or expressing your emotions

• Nightmares

• Anxiety and depression

• Panic attacks

• Attachment issues

• Problems trusting other people

Betrayal trauma can even lead to physical symptoms, like stomach problems and aches and pains. When you internalize your trauma, especially for a long time, your body will end up “storing” it and letting you know something is wrong, whether you actually remember the trauma or not. 

The Stages of Betrayal Trauma

Even if you were betrayed as a child, you might only be remembering or coming to terms with that trauma now. It’s important to understand that there are stages to work through, and healing from this type of trauma takes time. 

It’s perfectly normal and expected for the first stage to be shock and disbelief. After all, you trusted this person. They were supposed to take care of you, and they hurt you instead. 

The second stage can cause you to experience a rollercoaster of emotions. You’ll likely go from being sad to frustrated and angry to confused — and everything in between. Allow yourself to fully feel and experience these emotions. Don’t try to ignore them or push them down, but don’t stay in those negative depths forever. 

Finally, you’ll step into the third stage where healing really begins. You’ll be able to rebuild trust, boost your sense of self-worth, and open yourself up to others again. 

The Journey Toward Healing

Once you reach that third stage, a whole new journey begins — a journey toward healing. It starts with accepting what happened. That’s not always easy to do, especially if you’ve been trying to ignore or avoid it for a long time. 

But, the sooner you accept the trauma as real, the sooner you’ll be able to recognize that it doesn’t have to have power over you. 

Again, don’t hesitate to really feel your emotions. Bottling things up will only make the recovery process longer and more difficult. Lean on your support system and let people in to help you. Open up to the people you love and trust, and you’ll quickly see that they want to help in whatever ways possible. 

Finally, don’t hesitate to reach out to us about trauma therapy. Betrayal trauma can be deeply painful, and even confusing. You’re not alone, and you can find a sense of security again while building your self-esteem. 

Coping With Anxiety During The Holidays For A More Joyous Time

The holiday season is in full swing. It’s a time of fun and celebration, but it can also be overwhelming at times. The holidays can often feel rushed, busy, and even suffocating. 

Some people struggle with the pressure to make everything “perfect.” In contrast, others tend to feel anxious about their financial situation, having people in their homes, or dealing with family members who might be toxic. 

Needless to say, it’s not uncommon to experience anxiety during the holidays. Unfortunately, anxious thoughts can quickly impede your celebrations and joy. Thankfully, there are things you can do to cope with anxiety during the holidays. With a few effective tips and strategies, you can enjoy this time of year with less worry and more joy. 

Set Boundaries

Boundary setting during the holidays might seem impossible. But it’s not selfish — it’s necessary. First, don’t feel obligated to attend every event. If your schedule is starting to fill up and you’re getting anxious about your obligations, understand that it’s okay to say “no” to certain things. 

Second, don’t be afraid to set boundaries with people. If certain family members or friends are triggers for your anxiety, limit your time around them. Maybe their presence doesn’t necessarily bother you, but they tend to bring up subjects that fuel your anxiety. Let them know right away that you won’t be talking about those things. If they get brought up, steer the conversation elsewhere or remove yourself from the conversation.

You can set limits and take more control this holiday season. Setting boundaries is a great way to establish that control and feel calmer. 

Practice Self-Care

Self-care is important all year. But it’s especially necessary during this busy season when caring for your physical and mental health might take a back seat. 

Don’t let yourself get caught up in things like presents, parties, and everything in between. Those things can be fun, but not at the expense of your well-being. 

Self-care practices don’t have to take a lot of time, and they don’t require you to spend more money if that’s a source of stress. Getting enough sleep, maintaining a healthy diet, and exercising are all great forms of self-care. If you tend to get anxious throughout the day, consider writing in a journal. It can be helpful for jotting down your anxious thoughts and pulling yourself back into the present. 

Don’t Isolate Yourself

The holidays are a time of togetherness. While having some “me time” is a good thing, make sure you’re not completely isolating yourself — especially if you struggle with anxiety. 

Lean on your support system if your anxious thoughts are trying to take over. Not only can the people you care about serve as a distraction, but they can help you work through your anxious thoughts. They can help you recognize that you’re not alone. That can go a long way in feeling more in control and less fearful. 

If you don’t want to talk to friends and family about what you’re feeling, consider reaching out to a mental health professional. Anxiety is a common condition. If there’s a silver lining to it, it’s that it’s often very manageable with the right help. So, if you don’t want to go through the entire holiday season feeling anxious and overwhelmed, get the help you deserve. 

A therapist will help you get to the root of your anxiety. They’ll also help you form strategies that make it easier to manage your symptoms each day. 

Try some of the suggestions here. Set healthy boundaries for yourself, and prioritize your personal care. If you’re still struggling with anxiety, understand that you’re not alone, and talking to someone can make a big difference through the holidays and beyond. 

Reach out to learn more about anxiety treatment and how it can help.

5 Signs of Anger Issues In Your Teenager

Teenagers are often stereotyped as moody with unpredictable attitudes. Unfortunately, sometimes, those stereotypes exist for a reason. But when you consider what teens are going through, it makes sense. 

The teenage years are a time of change. Not only are they going through physical and hormonal changes, but they’re trying to figure out who they are and who they want to be. 

There’s a difference between “typical” teenage moodiness and anger. Anger can end up being dangerous and can sometimes be a sign of other mental health issues your teenager might be struggling with. 

So, how can you tell if your teenager is dealing with anger issues? Thankfully, there are some common signs to look for. 

1. Shutting Down

Shutting down might not seem like a sign of anger, but it can actually be quite serious. If your teen starts to withdraw from things they love, stop spending time with friends, and refuse to have conversations, they could be trying to figure out how to control their emotions. 

They might be dealing with extreme anger under the surface. But, they don’t know how to regulate those emotions or handle them in a safe and healthy way. So, they internalize and essentially try to become “numb” to what they’re feeling. 

This isn’t sustainable. Emotions always demand to be felt. They’re more likely to “boil over” at some point, so do what you can to talk to your teen if you feel like they’re shutting down. 

2. Emotional Outbursts

On the other end of the spectrum, some teens with anger issues might start to have emotional outbursts. These go beyond mood swings. These outbursts tend to be extreme. Your teen might yell, curse, and even try to destroy things. 

While it’s not a fun process, one of the ways you can help is by figuring out what triggers these outbursts, so you can get to the root cause of their anger. 

3. Bullying

Bullying others can be a sign of anger issues trying to work their way out in unhealthy ways. Your teen might be struggling with their emotions so much that they’re having trouble controlling their impulses. So, it leads them to pick on others without thinking of the consequences. 

If your teen has started to become a bully, remind them of the consequences. Offer healthier ways for them to express their anger that don’t involve harming others. 

4. Substance Abuse

As another way to cope with their emotions, some teens might try to numb what they’re feeling by turning to drugs or alcohol. Substance abuse is already a risk for teens due to issues like peer pressure. But, when your teenager is trying to mask their anger or get rid of those negative feelings, drugs can feel like a temporary fix. 

Unfortunately, this habit can quickly lead to substance abuse and addiction. Your teen might start to need more and more of whatever they’re taking in order for it to work, and even taking a drug one time can be dangerous. If you’ve seen any signs of substance use in your teen, it’s essential to get them help immediately. 

5. Self-Harm

Anger issues can often be overwhelming for teenagers who aren’t ready to handle such difficult emotions. They might be so intense that they can cause your teen to start hurting themselves. 

Self-harm is nothing to take lightly. Unfortunately, it can come in many forms and isn’t always easy to recognize right away. If you see any signs of self-harm from your teen, intervene immediately to get them the help they need. 

Anger issues in teenagers often stem from something deeper. Don't hesitate to reach out if you’ve noticed any of these signs. We can help your teen sort through their emotions and learn how to manage their anger effectively. with teen counseling or family therapy.

How Can I Tell If My Teen Is Just Being Moody Or Is Depressed?

Teenagers are often stereotyped as being moody and having negative attitudes. But, many of those stereotypes are in place for a reason. 

Teens are going through hormonal changes, trying to figure out what they want in life, and trying to navigate school and social relationships all at once. It’s normal for them to be a little moody sometimes. 

But, there’s a fine line between moodiness and something more serious going on. As a parent, you might not want to think about your teen dealing with something like depression. But, it’s more prevalent than most people realize, often because of the same changes and pressures listed above. 

So, how can you tell if your teen is just being moody or if they’re actually depressed? 

Understand the Common Signs

You know your teen better than anyone. If they tend to be a little moody at times, it might just be their personality or they might just be having a bad day. But, if they start displaying other symptoms or not acting like themselves, pay attention. Some of the most common signs of teen depression include: 

• Loss of interest in things they typically enjoy

• Withdrawal from friends

• Avoiding hanging out with family

• Changes in sleeping or eating habits

• Being sad or angry

• Declining performance in school 

If any of these signs look familiar and your teen has been exhibiting them lately, it could be time to step in. But, the last thing you want is to make them feel pressured or cornered. Approaching them the right way could make all the difference in the world when it comes to them getting help. 

When to Talk to Your Teen

As a parent, realizing your teen is struggling with depression can feel overwhelming. It’s instinctual to want to jump in and help however you can. But, “forcing” your teen to talk or admit they’re depressed can do more harm than good. 

Instead of cornering your teenager about what they’re going through, let them know you’re there. Say something like, “I’ve noticed you haven’t been spending much time with your friends lately,” or “you’ve been sleeping a lot more than usual lately, is everything okay?”

These statements and questions can open up a conversation where your teen doesn’t feel pressured to dive into everything they’re feeling, but it can start to tear down walls. When they know someone is there for them and willing to be a support system, they’re likely to become more willing to open up over time. 

But, when is the right time to step in? When you notice that your teenager’s depression has started to impact their quality of life, it’s time to take action. That might include getting poor grades in school or noticing that their physical health is declining because of the changes in their eating or sleeping habits. 

If your teen has been talking about harming themselves in any way, step in immediately to help. 

The Best Treatment for Teen Depression

Opening up the door to talk to your teenager about their depression is a good start. But, if they’re really struggling, therapy is often the best option. 

A therapist can help your teen get to the underlying cause of their depression. Maybe it’s something to do with school, relationships, or something deeper that they don’t even fully realize. While it’s not always easy to get to the root, it’s a necessary first step in the healing process. 

Therapy will also help your teen learn how to manage their symptoms and cope in healthy, effective ways. The things they learn now will be carried into adulthood, so they’ll know how to manage their mental well-being on their own. 

If you’re concerned that your teen might be dealing with depression, don’t hesitate to reach out for help as soon as possible for teen counseling or depression treatment.

How Can CBT Help Me As An Athlete

It’s easy for anyone to see the physical strength of an athlete. But, what many people fail to recognize is that it takes just as much mental fitness to be successful. Things like endurance, motivation, and the willingness to overcome challenges all stem from mental well-being. 

Unfortunately, athletes also tend to face a lot of pressure, especially when they’re on a public stage. One wrong move, and you could experience a career-ending injury. If you don’t perform your best, you could lose the race, game, match, etc. You might even deal with anxious thoughts causing you to wonder if you’re really good enough, if you’re getting too old, or if your opponent is better than you. 

It’s not uncommon for athletes to deal with anxiety stemming from doubt and fear. It’s something that traditional training in the gym might not help. But, if you’re an athlete dealing with those negative thoughts, CBT might be the solution. 

Restructuring

As an athlete, you might struggle with thinking about the worst-case scenario when you’re practicing or in the middle of a competition. Again, you could get injured, lose the big game, or worry about your abilities. 

Those thoughts can lead to anxiety, and if any of them plague you enough to impact your performance, you might also start to experience depression. 

CBT can help to restructure your thoughts and change the distortions in your thinking. You’ll work with a therapist to identify your distortions and focus on what you can do to challenge them. Things like asking yourself what could happen, what are the chances of it happening, and how it might impact your life are all valid questions you can work through during therapy. 

When you challenge those thoughts, they become less powerful. It doesn’t mean you won’t still experience negative self-talk sometimes. But, with CBT, you’ll be better equipped to fight back against them. 

Creating Goals

You’re likely no stranger to setting physical goals for yourself. But, if you’re struggling with your mental health, CBT can also help you set SMART goals that are: 

• Specific

• Measurable

• Achievable

• Realistic

• Time-limited

Setting SMART goals can help you manage your expectations. You might be putting too much pressure on yourself, leading to anxiety, disappointment, and added stress. Working with a therapist to set realistic goals will not only take away some of that stress, but it will help you focus on exactly what you need to work on. 

Mindfulness

Finally, CBT can teach you how to relax and be more mindful. Mindfulness is getting a lot of traction these days, but it’s more than just a buzzword. When you’re an athlete, it’s easy to want to always look ahead. It’s even easier to focus on your past mistakes. 

But, both of those things can keep you from reaching your full potential. 

Mindfulness will help you stay focused on the present. From a performance standpoint, it’s a great way to stay “in the zone” and shift your mindset where it needs to be without falling into the trap of anxiety. 

Breathing exercises, mindfulness meditation, and even guided imagery techniques can help you be more mindful when competing and in your free time. More mindfulness leads to more relaxation and less stress. You’ll be less anxious overall, which you can carry with you in your everyday life, not only when you’re wearing the “athlete” title. 

No matter what level you’re at as an athlete, you can benefit from CBT practices. If you’re interested in learning more or want to set up an appointment, feel free to contact us any time to learn more about CBT and sports counseling.

4 Tips For Quieting Your Anxiety When You Are Competing

As an athlete, you understand the importance of focus. If you aren’t able to “keep your head in the game,” you run the risk of performing poorly, getting injured, and losing self-esteem and confidence in your abilities. 

There are plenty of things that can potentially shake your focus, including anxiety. Anxiety tends to be fueled by a fear of the unknown. When you’re trying to perform at a top level, there are plenty of unknown factors that can trigger that fear and cause you to worry about what’s going to happen. 

So, how can you quiet that anxiety when you’re competing, and ensure you’re going to perform with a clear and focused mind?

1. Listen to Positive Self-Talk

One thing that can certainly cause anxiety to feel louder and more overwhelming than ever is negative self-talk. As the old saying goes, you are your own worst enemy. It’s easy for negative self-talk to creep in and convince you that you’re not good at what you do. Or, it might tell you that you’re going to fail or “choke” somehow during your competition. 

Instead of giving into that negative self-talk, replace it with positivity. That might include saying positive affirmations out loud, actively fighting back with positive words whenever negative thoughts start coming in, or finding other ways to boost your confidence. 

2. Practice Makes Perfect

As an athlete, you’re no stranger to practice and training. But, if your anxiety comes from a fear of failure, add in another practice session. Do something until it becomes second nature and you feel completely confident in it. 

Granted, you can’t control every factor of a game or other sporting event. There are some elements that will always be up in the air. But, when you’re 100% confident that you know how to execute, you can fight back against thoughts telling you that you aren’t good enough.

3. Reduce Anxiety Elsewhere

If you’re feeling stressed and overwhelmed in other areas of life, it could be creeping into your mindset while competing. Quieting something like performance anxiety often requires quieting that anxiety elsewhere, too. 

So, find ways to relax and de-stress whenever possible. Things like mindfulness, meditation, journaling, and physical activity for enjoyment (not just training) can all help to reduce your stress levels. Mindfulness and meditation are also wonderful ways to improve focus and help you feel more present. 

4. Prepare for the Worst

Again, anxiety is fueled by the unknown. It’s easy for your mind to go to the worst possible scenario and fear the worst potential outcomes. So, think about those things ahead of time. 

That might sound counterproductive, but it gives you some control. When you consider the worst thing that could happen, you also give yourself time to make a plan and think about how you’ll respond, one way or another. That helps with preparedness and makes the worst-case scenario seem far less scary. 

Competing at any level requires extreme focus. If you give into the effects of anxiety, you’re going to lose focus and end up participating in a self-fulfilling prophecy that causes your performance to suffer. 

So, consider using some of these tips to combat anxiety while competing. Not only can they improve your athletic performance, but they can help you manage your mental health even when you aren’t competing. 

If you’re still struggling with anxiety, at any time, don’t hesitate to reach out for sports counseling. Often, getting to the root of the issue is the best way to start healing and moving forward. A therapist can help with that, and offer even more effective suggestions to manage your symptoms and overcome anxiety for good. 

How Can Counseling Help Me As A Competitive Athlete?

When you’re a competitive athlete, it’s easy for people to view you as some kind of machine, expected to perform and win time and time again. But, underneath your athletic abilities and talent, you’re only human. 

When you’re a competitive athlete, you’re a human with a lot of pressure on your shoulders. 

Whether you’re feeling the stress of your sport, the pressure to succeed, or you’re trying to get through the mental health challenges that often come with injuries and strain, counseling can be an effective way to cope. 

If you’ve never considered counseling before, let’s dig a little deeper into how it can help you as an athlete to maintain both your physical and mental well-being. 

Success for the Whole Self

One of the best reasons for an athlete to see a counselor is to foster and maintain a sense of wellness for the whole self. 

You probably wouldn’t dream of skipping practice or giving up on your training regimen. While exercise is good for your mental health and can combat stress, you’re probably not focused on that while you’re working out. You’re trying to get into peak physical condition to be as successful as possible in your sport. 

Counseling can help you redefine what success looks like. Wins and good performances are great, but when you experience the highs and lows of being an athlete, having a strong sense of mental wellness can help you remain stable and make it easier to manage your stress. 

Finding Motivation

Maybe you’re coming back to your sport after some time off. Maybe you’re feeling uninspired lately because you haven’t been performing at your peak. Or, maybe you’re just worried you’ve lost your love of the game, no matter what you play. 

Counseling can help you rediscover your passion and motivation by getting to the root cause of what’s destroying it. It could be anything from stress to relationship issues, or striking a healthy work-life balance. When you dig beneath the surface to determine what’s really making you feel indifferent, you can start taking steps to find your spark again. 

Stress Management

There’s no question that being a competitive athlete is stressful. There’s a lot of pressure on you to perform well and win, especially when there’s money involved. You might be thinking about that pressure even when you’re not playing or performing. That can cause a lot of stress that will seep into other areas of your life. 

Counseling can help with basic stress management, taking some of the pressure away and allowing you to focus on other things. It can improve your work-life balance, help you enjoy other areas of life, and even help you to perform better.

Injury Recovery

When you’re injured as an athlete, it can be overwhelming. You might be worried about how quickly you can heal, if you’ll be as strong or able as you once were, or if you’ll be able to remain competitive. That kind of anxiety takes a toll on your well-being and can lead to lasting negative consequences. 

Counseling can’t magically cause your injury to heal faster. But, it can help you maintain mental wellness as you heal and start training again. That allows you to focus on what’s important without letting anxiety take over. 

As you can see, there are plenty of ways in which counseling can help you as a competitive athlete. But, you don’t need to wait for something to “go wrong” or until your stress feels overwhelming to reach out for help. 

Feel free to contact us for more information or to set up an appointment. Sports counseling can help you train your mental well-being the same way you train your body, so don’t ignore the success of your whole self. 

4 Ways Counseling Can Help An Athlete Who Has Performance Anxiety

Whether you’re a professional athlete, a college athlete, or you play for a local sports team, there can be a lot of pressure to win. Beyond that, you might feel a lot of personal pressure to perform well, especially if you’re considered one of the top talents of your team. 

While plenty of athletes thrive under pressure and tend to use it as motivation, that doesn’t mean it isn’t nerve-wracking. 

As a result, it’s not uncommon for athletes of all abilities and levels to deal with performance anxiety. Unfortunately, that kind of anxiety can create problems within your sport and your mental well-being. 

Thankfully, counseling can help if you’re willing to take the leap (no pun intended) and give it a try. Not convinced? Let’s take a look at a few different ways counseling can help an athlete dealing with performance anxiety.

1. It Can Help Identify Triggers

It’s not always easy for an athlete to know exactly what makes them feel anxious before a big game. You might have specific triggers that need to be addressed, like knowing certain people are watching, or certain conditions that make you self-conscious and doubting. 

You might even have superstitions that could end up becoming triggers. It’s not uncommon for athletes to deal with superstitions and rituals, but when they start to cause performance anxiety, it’s a problem.

2. It Can Help to Develop a Game Plan

Athletes respond well to plans and strategies, and counseling can help with that when it comes to dealing with performance anxiety. 

Your counselor can help you develop a game plan that keeps you focused during your event. The plan should be short and to the point, and something that’s easy to remember so it utilizes all of your concentration. It should be something you can learn quickly and repeat to yourself when it's time to perform. When you’re focused on your game plan, you’re less likely to be anxious about your performance.

3. It Reduces Everyday Stress

Anxiety comes from stress. It also creates stress. It’s like a vicious cycle that feeds off of itself until you feel like you’re completely out of control. 

If you find that you’re stressed about a big game or event days before it actually happens, your performance anxiety is likely to kick in early. On the big day, you might be so anxious about your performance that it’s hard to focus on anything. 

Counseling can make it easier to manage and lower your stress levels every day — not just on game days. The less stressed you are, overall, the less likely it is for anxiety to completely take over. 

Common stress-reducing techniques like mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, and meditation are great ways to calm yourself before a game or event, and a counselor can help you make the most of them. They’ll teach you techniques you can use as often as necessary to combat the stress threatening to control your thoughts.

4. It Boosts Positivity

Performance anxiety, especially as an athlete, can impact your self-esteem. Confidence is so important for athletes, and when you lose it, you’ll be even more anxious about your ability to perform. 

Counseling can help you maintain a positive attitude about yourself, your abilities, and the sport you play. That kind of attitude boosts your confidence and can help you overcome the effects of performance anxiety by changing your perspective on the game and your abilities. 

Don’t let things like stigma, pride, or stereotyping get in the way of getting the help you deserve. You wouldn’t ignore your physical training, and maintaining your mental health is just as important. If you’re struggling with performance anxiety, consider reaching out for help to learn more about sports counseling.

How To Ease A Child's Worries About Going To School

Summer is winding down and school is starting up again across the country. It can be an exciting time for kids, but it can also be a little nerve-wracking. If you have a young child, they might not know what to expect. 

Even if your child is a bit older, they might have reservations about the new school year. Maybe they’re not sure how they will make new friends, or they’re intimidated by their class schedule. 

We all tend to fear the unknown, and worries about school are no different. 

Thankfully, there are things you can do to ease your child’s worries about school and provide them reassurance and comfort as they head to class this year. 

Establish a Routine

Everyone needs a routine, but it’s especially important for kids and teenagers. Ideally, you can establish a routine for school a few weeks before classes actually start. But, even if your child has already begun the school year, it’s not too late. 

Your daily routine should include things like getting up around the same time each day, having breakfast, having a chat, etc. Find what works for you in the mornings. It will set the tone for your child’s day. 

An after-school/nighttime routine can also be a source of comfort and familiarity. That consistency is important in a child’s life and will help them feel secure even when they’re worried about school. 

Introduce Them to Their Teachers

Most teachers are all too happy to meet their students ahead of time — especially if it helps to ease their minds. If your child is nervous about a new school or teacher, schedule a walk-through of the building and let them meet at least one, if not all of the teachers they’ll interact with throughout the year. 

Having that little bit of familiarity before they start the school year can make a big difference in their confidence. They’ll feel more comfortable around the teacher and more self-assured that they can make their way around the school without getting lost or feeling overwhelmed. 

Connect Them With Friends

Speaking of familiar faces, have your child connect with classmates before school starts. Set up play dates for younger kids, or go on group outings with other parents and children. It’s a great way to form relationships before school begins, so they have some familiarity in the crowd on the first day of class. 

Even having just one familiar friend can make a difference. So, help your child establish those healthy connections before the first day; they’re less likely to feel overwhelmed by the uncertainties around them. 

Listen to Them

As a parent or caregiver, one of the best things you can do for your child is to offer your support — and a listening ear. 

If they struggle in school, ensure they know their feelings are valid. Ask them what might help, and listen to their suggestions before offering some of your own. Often, your child won’t want you to “fix” things. They’ll just want to be heard. 

Reach Out for Help

If your child continues to struggle with worries or fear about going to school, it’s worth reaching out to a professional for help. Therapy can be a great way to get to the root cause of your child’s worries. Understanding those underlying causes is the best way to chip away at them. 

Therapy can also make it easier for your child to learn how to manage and eventually overcome those worries. It can be empowering and give them the confidence they need to move forward. 

So, as the school year begins, do what you can to provide consistency and support for your child. Most importantly, don’t be afraid to reach out for anxiety treatment or family therapy.

How To Cope With Parenting Stress

Being a parent is one of the most rewarding jobs you’ll ever have. It’s also one of the most stressful. 

Don’t let those parents on social media fool you — it’s stressful for everyone, even those who try to depict their family lives as perfect. But, even when you realize that no parent escapes without some stress, it doesn’t automatically take away your own. 

So, what can you do when you feel like you’re at your wits’ end? How can you handle the everyday stress of parenting on top of worrying about your children’s future? 

Take a deep breath, and let’s cover a few effective strategies that can help. 

Don’t Ignore It

You don’t have to be a super mom or dad 24/7. You might think that in order to be a good parent, you have to ignore your stress and keep pushing forward for your family. But, the more you try to ignore your stress, the more likely it is to grow. 

Eventually, it’ll boil over. 

Instead, acknowledge that you’re stressed or burnt out. It’s the first step toward actually doing something about it. When you admit your stress to yourself, you’ll be more likely to find effective solutions to deal with it and reduce it. 

Have Fun With Your Kids

Raising children is an incredible responsibility, but that doesn’t mean you can’t make time for fun. In fact, you can get your kids involved in some of your interests, or take part in their own and let your inner child come out. 

If you love to read on your own, take some time to read with your child each night. If you’re a music lover, share your favorite bands with your child, or help them learn an instrument. You can educate your kids and have fun, all at once. 

Practice Self-Care

Self-care isn’t selfish. While you might be tempted to always put your kids first, you can’t pour from an empty cup. If you aren’t taking the time to care for yourself, you’re not going to be the parent you really want to be. 

Make sure you’re prioritizing sleep, eating healthy, exercising, and maintaining your mental well-being. Things like journaling, meditation, and mindfulness are all great forms of self-care.

Additionally, don’t lose your sense of self. Do things you enjoy on your own or with your partner or friends from time to time. Maintaining your identity is important to your overall well-being, and it will help you recognize that your identity isn’t solely tied to your parenting role. 

Ask for Help

Remember that you’re not alone. If you’re married or have a partner, lean on each other for support when it comes to raising your kids. If you’re feeling especially burnt out or stressed, tell them, and ask for a little more help. 

Even if you’re a single parent, you’re not without support. Reach out to family members or friends, or consider joining a local parenting group so you can help other parents who might be dealing with stress, too. 

If the stress of parenting is starting to impact your quality of life, don’t hesitate to ask for a different kind of help — for your own mental well-being. Consider talking to a therapist or counselor about what you’re feeling. They’ll be able to help you identify the real source of your stress and work with you to develop effective management strategies. 

While you’ll never be able to completely eliminate the stress of parenting, there are things you can do to make it easier to handle, and you don’t have to tackle it on your own. Feel free to contact us for more information or to set up an appointment for family therapy

3 Steps To Take If You Want To Improve Family Communication

Healthy communication is essential in any successful relationship – not just romantic ones. While you might not think about how communication issues can impact your family, they can create more problems than you realize. 

Maybe communication efforts haven’t changed in your family for years because everyone has gotten used to it. Maybe no one knows how to improve those efforts. But, a lack of healthy communication can cause discord, confusion, and strained relationships. 

The good news? It’s never too late to improve family communication. Whether you’re a parent, a grown child still struggling to have healthy conversations with your parents, or you want to foster a better connection with your family, let’s cover a few ways to improve communication and build stronger relationships. 

1. Make Time to Talk

There’s no denying that we’re living in a busy world. Technology causes us to move at a rapid pace. Schedules are more packed than ever. People in families have different responsibilities, obligations, appointments, and interests. 

While having a busy schedule isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it can cause communication within the family unit to suffer. You might feel like you communicate with your family regularly, but is it just small talk while you’re heading out the door? Or, do you chat with each other while you’re all distracted by phones, computers, or televisions? 

One of the best things you can do to improve family communication is to make more time for it. Yes, life is busy, but there’s a good chance that everyone within the family can spare some time each week to dedicate solely to family communication. Even if that means having dinner together a few times a week with no electronics, or going for a family walk on weekend mornings. 

Having dedicated, scheduled time will put everyone in the right frame of mind. It will also help to eliminate distractions, and show every family member that what they have to say really matters. 

2. Be an Active Listener

Being a better communicator isn’t just about talking. In fact, some might argue that the listening aspect of communication is even more important. 

Everyone deserves to be heard and understood, especially if there are some lingering underlying issues within your family. 

Choose to be an active listener when anyone in your family is sharing something. That means more than just hearing what they have to say. Make eye contact, don’t interrupt, and pay attention to non-verbal communication, too. Ask questions, and repeat statements if you need clarification. 

When someone feels like you’re truly listening to what they have to say, they’re more likely to open up, and they’ll also likely become an active listener, in return. 

3. Calmly Communicate

If you feel like there are some communication issues within your family, don’t wait until you’re frustrated, hurt, or angry to bring them up. No matter what you need to discuss, it’s important to communicate calmly. 

Ideally, you’ll talk about things before they become bigger issues than they need to be. But, if you’re already in a place of frustration, say that. Let your family know that you need some time and space to calm down and organize your thoughts so you can communicate clearly. 

That simple step can make a big difference in what you say later, and can de-escalate a negative situation quickly. When you’re willing to step back and speak calmly, other family members are likely to do the same. 

There are many other steps you can take to improve family communication, but consider these to help you get started. In doing so, you can build stronger relationships with the people close to you, and potentially break generational cycles that were stuck thanks to years of poor communication efforts. 

If you are struggling to communicate in your relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out to us to learn more about family therapy.

How To Break The Cycle Of Codependency In A Friendship

People often refer to codependency in romantic relationships, but it isn’t exclusive to those partnerships. Codependency can harm almost any type of relationship. While those traits can certainly carry over into romantic endeavors, they can be just as damaging in friendships. 

While great friends will often suggest that they “complete” each other or that they balance one another out, codependency looks different. It’s not about balance or completion. Rather, it occurs when one person has a heavy reliance on the other. 

Let’s take a closer look at codependency in a friendship. We’ll cover what it really looks like. More importantly, we’ll talk about what you can do to break the cycle of codependency in a friendship and enjoy healthier, happier relationships. 

Magnified Roles

Healthy relationships always have a bit of give and take. However, those roles tend to shift based on need. There are times in friendships where one person will be the “giver” and one will be the “taker.” 

But, those roles shouldn’t be permanent. 

In a codependent friendship, one person tends to be the taker all of the time, forcing the other person to be the constant giver. That might be draining on the giver, but because they feel so needed, it can serve as a confidence boost. They’ll feel important in the relationship. 

Unfortunately, these magnified roles aren’t healthy for anyone, and can lead to imbalanced relationships with toxic dynamics. 

What Are the Signs of Codependency in a Friendship?

If you’re not sure whether you’re in a codependent friendship (no matter your role), some of the most common signs include: 

• One person is always trying to fix the other person’s problems.

• One person plays the role of “rescuer” every time.

• There are constant anxieties and fears over the relationship.

• One person feels used. 

• There is a distorted sense of reality. 

Things like relationship burnout and upset feelings are also pretty common signs. If you’re relying on a friend to make you feel fulfilled, it’s going to be exhausting. If you’re playing the role of the one who your friend relies on, it might be fun for a while, but it can also make you feel limited or even trapped. 

Eventually, both of you might feel like you’re losing a sense of individuality. The rescuer often takes on their friend’s emotions and won’t make their own choices. The other person might feel like they can’t do anything or make their own decisions without the friend being involved. 

What Can You Do? 

If these issues sound familiar, the good news is that the cycle of codependency in a friendship can be broken. 

If you are the codependent one, the best thing you can do is to acknowledge there’s a problem. Admitting that you’re struggling with codependency isn’t easy, but it’s a necessary first step. When you acknowledge the issue, you can seek out help from a professional to determine the cause of your codependency. You can also start to focus on self-care and finding an identity and purpose outside of your friendship. 

If you’re the “taker” in the relationship, don’t hesitate to set healthy boundaries. Again, it might be fun to be needed for a while, but that gets old very quickly. You’ll be putting yourself first in healthy ways by establishing boundaries and talking to your friend about changes that need to occur. 

No matter your role in a codependent friendship, understand that you don’t have to tackle these challenges on your own. Breaking free from that kind of cycle can be difficult. Friendship Therapy can help, from digging deeper into the relationship to guiding you to find healthy ways of keeping the friendship intact.  Feel free to reach out to learn more.