People Pleasing Might Be Fueling Depression: Here's How

Most people don’t see it as a negative thing to be a people-pleaser. After all, what’s wrong with helping others or going out of your way to make sure the people in your life are happy? There's usually nothing wrong with that, but people-pleasing often goes far beyond simply helping people out or wanting to make the lives of others easier.

Multiple studies have shown that people-pleasing is often linked to depression. So, while you’re busy making other people feel happy, it could be damaging your mental well-being. Let’s take a closer look at the connection and what you can do to take charge of your mental health.

Overlooking Your Own Needs

When you prioritize the needs and wants of others over your own, you could be missing out on essential self-care practices.

People-pleasing can cause you to not have the time, energy, or resources to focus on your own needs because you’re giving everything you have to others. While helping people can be rewarding, it can’t be done at the expense of your well-being. As the old saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup. Eventually, you’ll be completely burned out. Not only will that impact your physical well-being, but mentally it can leave you feeling helpless, hopeless, and depressed.

Validation and Approval

It’s not uncommon for people-pleasers to struggle with insecurity or self-esteem issues. You might go out of your way for others in an attempt to get approval or to feel validated. Sometimes, people-pleasers can go so far as to view their self-worth based on the approval of others.

Additionally, people-pleasers tend to put their own dreams, desires, and interests aside in favor of doing what others might want. When you don’t give the things you love enough time and attention, you’re going to feel like you have nothing to look forward to. That, too, can lead to depression and feel incredibly isolating and unfulfilling.

Living in Fear

The need for validation often comes with a sense of fear or anxiety. People-pleasing and social anxiety can often be linked because they both stem from a fear of judgment. You might worry that if you don’t go out of your way to do things for people, they will think poorly of you. They might see you in a negative light or even talk about you behind your back.

Of course, these fears are rarely based on reality. But they can seem very real and overwhelming when you’re struggling with them. Fear, on its own, can trigger anxiety and depression, and when you add in the exhausting task of ignoring your needs for others, your depression is likely to become worse.

What Can You Do? 

It’s easy to think that you can just stop being a people-pleaser overnight. But you likely didn’t build this mindset quickly, and it’s going to take some time to change it — and your habits.

So, how can you stop being a people-pleaser and take charge of your mental health? Recognizing that it’s becoming a problem is the first step. When you see that your people-pleasing tendencies are negatively impacting you, it will be easier to start refraining from them.

Instead of giving in to the needs of others, try to spend more time focusing on what you need, especially if you’re dealing with depression. Make self-care a priority in your life, including activities like exercising, journaling, and practicing mindfulness. Self-care can help you recognize your worth, so you’re more likely to start taking care of your needs before worrying about the needs of others.

It can also be helpful to reach out to a mental health professional. There could be a deeper underlying cause when it comes to your people-pleasing, and learning where it stems from can be a great first step toward managing your depression and changing the way you act around others. If you feel like you need to reach out to someone, don't hesitate to contact us for an anxiety therapy appointment!

My Partner Has Alexithymia! 5 Ways You Can Help

Most people understand the importance of communication in a relationship. But, for someone with alexithymia, communication can be difficult, because they aren’t fully aware of their own emotions — or their partner’s emotions. 

Alexithymia is a condition in which a person has a hard time identifying their emotions or expressing them. It can create discomfort in and out of relationships, and cause that person to seem apathetic. Obviously, in a relationship, that isn’t what you want. 

Alexithymia can make it difficult for your partner to connect with your emotions, so you might think they’re somehow cold or that they don’t care. That couldn’t be further from the truth. People with alexithymia feel all of the same emotions as everyone else. They just have a harder time expressing them. 

So, what can you do to help?

1. Be Clear and Concise

Again, communication is a key component of a healthy relationship. Don’t give up on it just because of this condition. Instead, double down on your efforts and be clear and direct about your needs and wants. 

By directly telling your partner how you feel about something, there is less room for miscommunication or negative assumptions. Don’t assume that non-verbal cues will be effective, because they’re not likely to understand how you’re really feeling through subtle hints. 

2. Educate Yourself

Your partner might not know that they have alexithymia, especially if they’ve been feeling the same way most of their life. 

If you’ve noticed some of the signs of the condition, educate yourself further. Take a look at more of the common symptoms, causes, and effects. The more you educate yourself, the easier it will be to pass that knowledge onto your partner, so they can develop a better understanding of what they’re dealing with. Awareness doesn’t automatically fix everything, but it certainly helps. 

3. Help Them With Their Feelings

You have a unique opportunity to serve as your partner’s guide for feelings. While you have to tread lightly in “telling” them how they might be feeling, you can certainly guide them based on your observations to help them understand the name of an emotion. 

For example, it’s usually fairly easy to see when someone is angry or sad. Point those instances out to your partner. When you do, they’ll be able to identify the right emotion as it relates to what they’re feeling internally. 

4. Practice Self-Care

Taking care of yourself can actually make a big difference in your relationship. It can sometimes be challenging, being in a relationship with someone who has difficulty understanding and expressing their emotions. 

If you truly want to support and help them, you have to put yourself first. You can’t pour from an empty cup. 

Take the time to incorporate relaxation efforts into your day. That could include mindfulness, meditation, or journaling. The less stressed you are, the more you’ll be able to help your partner work through this condition. 

5. Encourage Therapy

Therapy is a great way for your partner to learn more about their condition in a safe and judgment-free environment. 

Working with a therapist can also help them better understand where their alexithymia might have stemmed from, so they can start working on it from the ground up. They’ll learn better communication skills, and eventually be able to feel more in tune with their own emotions. 

Alexithymia can be difficult for both people in a relationship to deal with. But, it doesn’t have to create lasting turmoil or communication problems. Encourage your partner to contact me for couples counseling, and continue to support them however you can by being patient and helping them understand what they’re feeling.

How Is The Teen Brain Different?

Have you ever wondered what’s going on inside your teen’s mind? No, that’s not a rhetorical question. Teenagers tend to get stereotyped for the way they think and the actions they take. But, if you’ve ever thought that your teen isn’t thinking things through — you’re right. 

But, it’s not because they don’t want to. 

The teen brain is actually quite different from a full-fledged adult mind. Understanding those differences can help you better understand your teenager. It will also set you up to guide them in the right direction and foster healthy and effective growth as they get older. 

Let’s take a closer look at some of those differences, and how they impact the way your teen thinks. 

The Teen Brain Isn’t Fully Developed

It’s easy to assume that by the time your child hits their teenage years, their brain is fully formed. But, an area of the brain called the prefrontal cortex doesn’t fully develop until around the age of 25. 

This area of the brain is responsible for things like setting prioritizing, planning ahead, and decision-making. If your teen seems impulsive or finds temptation in new ideas easily, it could be because of the prefrontal cortex. 

You can help them by encouraging them to plan ahead and think things through as often as possible. While it won’t necessarily speed up the development of the brain, it will set them up for success as the prefrontal cortex continues to grow. They’ll be more likely to make smart, thought-out decisions as they enter adulthood. 

The Teen Brain is Adaptable

Because the teenage brain isn’t fully formed, it can be somewhat malleable. It’s influenced by social situations, personal experiences, and even challenging situations. 

One of the best things you can do for your teenager is to challenge them with new experiences that will help them grow. Creative endeavors, like playing music or participating in art, can help the brain to mature faster and respond positively to new or challenging situations in the future. 

The Teen Brain Handles Stress Differently

When you think back on your teenage years, you might remember them as the best time of your life. But, you undoubtedly dealt with stress, and your teenager is dealing with it right now. 

Unfortunately, teens don’t typically handle stress as well as adults. It can have a direct impact on their mental well-being, making them more susceptible to issues like depression or anxiety. 

As a parent, make sure you’re consistently checking in on your teen’s mental health. Make sure mental wellness is a frequent topic at home, so you can get rid of any stigma your teen might have exposure to. When they learn the importance of mental wellness early on, they’ll be more likely to take those skills with them into adulthood. 

Understanding the Teenage Brain

One of the greatest aspects of the teenage brain is that it’s quite resilient. So, even if your teen does struggle with mental health issues or has a hard time dealing with stress, don’t assume the worst. 

There are things you can do to help them work through those issues and prioritize their mental health. Take comfort in the fact that their resiliency can help them bounce back from symptoms of extreme sadness, fear, or even hopelessness. While you can’t change things for them, you can serve as a support system along the way. 

So, the next time you wonder what might be going on in your teenager’s head, understand that their brain doesn’t work the same way yours does, but it’s changing and adapting all the time. When you recognize how those differences impact your teen, you can support their learning journey and take pride in watching them grow. 

Reach out to us to learn more about family therapy.

How Does Brainspotting Work and What Are the Benefits?

There are a variety of therapies and modalities designed to help with the lasting effects of trauma. However, many of them involve a lot of talking, which can be difficult for trauma survivors or those dealing with setbacks. 

One of the most unique forms of therapies that can help with these issues is brainspotting. If you’ve ever heard of eye-movement desensitization and reprocessing, the two therapies have similarities. However, key differences are important to note if you’re trying to find the right treatment option. 

Let’s take a closer look at brainspotting, how it works, and some of the greatest benefits, so you can determine if it’s the right type of therapy for you. 

What Is Brainspotting?

Like EMDR, brainspotting utilizes bilateral stimulation to help you heal from trauma or other types of emotional stress. It focuses on the idea that different “spots” within the brain must be focused on to heal from those painful memories. 

These spots are within the visual field, so your therapist might use their finger or an object to guide your eyes back and forth until they notice any changes (such as eye fluttering). These spots are connected to certain memories and emotions. Brainspotting is identifying those spots and unlocking memories that have otherwise been tucked away so your body can start to heal itself naturally. 

Over time, once those memories are reprocessed, brainspotting can help develop new neuropathways. That doesn’t mean you forget about the memories. You can look at them from a different perspective without fear or pain. 

How Does it Work? 

So, how can someone identify where a brainspot actually is? During a typical session, your therapist will ask you to focus on a specific traumatic event or memory. In contrast, your therapist guides your eye movement with their finger or an object. 

Your therapist will watch your eyes move from left to right to notice any changes in your movements or actions. If you blink rapidly or your eyes flutter, they’ll look closer at that spot and your stored memory. 

When a brainspot activates, your therapist can work with you to dive into that memory and learn how to reprocess it into something healthier and less overwhelming. Stored trauma can negatively impact your mind and body. Brainspotting is an effective way to release it. 

Brainspotting isn’t some kind of magic solution. Once you discover a traumatic memory, it can be difficult or even scary to feel like you’re reliving it. But knowing you’re in a safe location with someone who can help you work through it can make a big difference. You can finally start to heal with strength and support. 

What Are the Benefits?

So, what can you expect from brainspotting? Why might it be a better choice than other forms of talk therapy? 

The strongest benefit is the research that shows its success. It’s been found over and over again to successfully help people struggling with trauma, including complex trauma. It also helps people deal with anxiety, depression, and even OCD. 

Another great benefit is that brainspotting isn’t something you’ll have to continue doing for the rest of your life. Once your neuropathways are open to new ideas and you’ve been able to process and let go of stored trauma, you can start the next chapter of your life without continuing therapy. 

Interested in learning more about brainspotting and whether it can help you deal with unprocessed stored trauma? Feel free to contact us to set up an appointment for trauma therapy.

Can Grief Counseling Help Families?

We often think of grief as a very personal and private thing. In many ways, it is. But, when you lose a loved one, you’re not the only one impacted. 

Everyone grieves in their own way, but when you lose a family member, the whole family is likely to feel the same way. So, while you might go at your own pace through the grief process, now is the time to lean on your family for support and reach out for help as a unit, if necessary. 

Grief counseling can help families process the trauma of losing someone together. It can bring you closer together in a time of sadness and overwhelming emotions and provide you with benefits you might not expect. 

So, whether you’re mourning the loss of a loved one or your family has been through something traumatic together, grief counseling could be the answer. Let’s look at some of the benefits and what to expect. 

The Right Environment

When you’re dealing with grief on your own, it can be tempting to isolate yourself and withdraw from the people and things you love. 

You might think no one really understands what you’re going through. Or, maybe you simply can’t find the motivation to get some help on your own. Grief counseling with your family allows you to work through your emotions in a safe environment. 

You will be able to speak freely about your feelings and listen to how your family is dealing with everything. Everyone’s emotions will be validated, and you might find that you share more emotions with family members than you initially thought. 

Working Through Stages

You’ve probably heard that there are different stages of grief. Working through them as a family can help you feel supported along the way. 

A grief counselor can encourage healthy processing for every family member. That includes accepting that the loss did occur and learning how to move forward. That’s not always easy to do on your own, so having family members who are experiencing the same thing to support you can make a big difference. 

A Stronger Family Connection

As you reach the final stages of grief, you can also take comfort in the fact that you’ve undoubtedly built a stronger connection with your family. Unfortunately, sometimes, it’s the hardest situation that brings us together. But grief counseling can help you realize that you have a support system. You’ll cherish that connection and always have someone who understands the grief you’re experiencing right now. 

What to Expect

Family grief counseling is very similar to individual counseling. Everyone gets a chance to express themselves, and sometimes, hearing how other people feel can give you the confidence to open up. 

As you and your family go through the different stages of grief, seeing how some members are coping and handling things can also motivate you. You can find a light at the end of the tunnel as you see a weight lift away from other members, knowing you can feel that way, too. 

It’s important to feel heard when you’re going through counseling. Having a dedicated time and space for everyone to share and process emotions can make the grieving process feel less overwhelming and isolating. 

By the time you finish counseling, you and your family should be able to move forward with meaning. You don’t have to forget what you lost. But, you’ll have gained the skills necessary to start the next chapter of your lives, knowing you can lean on each other every step of the way. 

Reach out to us to learn more about grief counseling and how it can help you and your family.

Is It Possible to Manage Depression Without Medication?

Depression affects millions of people across the globe. While it can come with different symptoms and severities, feeling a sense of deep sadness and hopelessness is something no one should have to live with forever. 

If there’s a silver lining to the commonality of depression, it’s that there are a variety of treatment options. 

However, one of the most common treatment solutions involves taking medication. While medications can often work well for people with depression, some people can’t take them for various medical reasons. Others simply don’t want to. 

Thankfully, it’s possible to manage your depression without medication. While you should always talk to your doctor first, consider trying some of these strategies for symptom management. 

Find a Routine

We often think of how important routines are for children. But they’re just as essential and beneficial for adults—especially when they’re struggling with mental wellness. 

When you’re dealing with depression, you might feel like your life doesn’t have any structure. Some days, you might want to stay in bed until late afternoon. Or, you might be tossing and turning all night, so you’re exhausted all day. 

Establishing a healthy routine will give you the stability and structure we naturally crave as humans. Go to bed at the same time each night and wake up at the same time each morning. Make breakfast, exercise, or write in a journal before work. Your routine is up to you, so find a structure that fits your needs and keeps you motivated to move forward. 

Practice Self-Care

Speaking of eating healthy meals, exercising, and journaling — they are all wonderful forms of self-care. Self-care is something everyone should be practicing. But it’s especially important when you’re dealing with depression. 

Self-care practices can boost your mood, give you a sense of purpose, and even improve your energy. Exercise, for example, is scientifically proven to reduce stress and can even make you feel happier. 

Self-care doesn’t have to take up a lot of time, and it doesn’t require much effort. Find small things to incorporate into your day specifically meant to promote your well-being. 

Prioritize Sleep

Another self-care practice is sleep, but it’s important enough to deserve its own section. Sleep and depression can create problems for each other. 

When you’re depressed, it can be difficult to get healthy sleep at night. Unfortunately, the less sleep you get, the more likely it is for your symptoms of depression to become worse. It creates a vicious cycle that’s hard to escape from — but not impossible. 

Develop better sleep hygiene by starting with a sleep routine. Once you have that in place, avoid electronics for at least an hour before bed. Make sure you have an ideal sleep environment without any distractions. If you’re tired but can’t seem to fall asleep in bed right away, don’t stay there tossing and turning. Get up and go to a different room for a while. Try reading a book or journaling until you feel like you’re ready to close your eyes, then go back to bed. 

Talk to Someone

One of the best ways to combat depression is by talking about your struggles. Leaning on family and friends for support can be a big help. But, working with a therapist to manage your symptoms is even better. 

Therapy can help you uncover the root cause(s) of your depression. While that’s not always easy, it’s the first step toward understanding why you feel so down so you can create a plan of action not only to manage your symptoms but to overcome depression completely. 

Medication isn’t the only option for depression management. If you’re ready to give therapy a try or you’re interested in other ways to manage your symptoms, don’t hesitate to contact us for depression treatment.

Why You Aren't Alone If You're Nervous About What's Next After High School

Graduating high school is a huge milestone. It’s something you’re likely to remember for the rest of your life, as it signifies one chapter ending and a new one starting. 

But, as exciting as graduating can be, it can also feel overwhelming, and even a bit scary. You’ve spent all of this time working up to this moment, and…now what?

Even if you have plans after high school — whether it’s going to college or starting a career — it can still feel like you’re stepping into foreign territory. 

If you’re feeling nervous about what’s next, you’re not alone. It’s normal to experience some anxiety as you approach graduation and even after you graduate. Let’s take a closer look at why that is, and what you can do about it. 

Worrying About the Future

Anxiety thrives on the unknown and the “what ifs” of life. You’ve been in high school for four years and probably in elementary and middle school with the same people before that. Even if you moved and changed schools at some point, there’s still a comfort and familiarity surrounding you. 

After graduating, that all changes. 

Even worse, you’re not exactly sure how much it will change until it happens. There are some people you might never see again. Your responsibilities will grow. Your daily routine will never be the same. Those are comfort issues that are immediately swept away. On top of it, you’re immediately thrust into an uncertain future, even if you have concrete plans in place. There are plenty of “what ifs” to consider, and it can make it easier for your nerves to take over. 

Changing Relationships

Whether you’ve been with the same classmates since kindergarten or just for a couple of years, there’s a sense of familiarity with the people you’re involved with. You don’t have to be the most popular person in school to have a strong, stable friend group. 

Graduation doesn’t mean all of your friendships will fizzle. But, as things change, so will your relationships. Some people might move away. Others will start jobs and their schedules will change. Some will go to college. You’re not going to see each other every day anymore, and while that’s hard enough, the idea of forming new friendships elsewhere can be even more overwhelming. 

Societal Pressures

Whether you know what you want to do with your future or not, it can feel like there’s a lot of pressure after graduation. Your family might have specific plans for you. People in the community might ask what you want to do. 

It’s okay if you don’t know right away. It’s okay if you want to take a break to figure things out. But, that doesn’t always make the pressure from others disappear, and it can cause you to feel nervous about the path you’re taking. 

What Can You Do?

First, recognize that it’s perfectly normal to feel nervous right now, whether you’re about to graduate or you recently have. No matter how exciting the next chapter will be, it comes with a lot of uncertainties. Acknowledge your feelings instead of trying to push them down or brush them off. 

Next, make a plan for yourself. You don’t necessarily need to know what you want to do right away. But, having some kind of plan or goal in place can help you feel more grounded and less uncertain. 

Finally, don’t hesitate to talk to someone if you’re struggling. Leaning on your support system can help you feel more secure and confident. If you’re really having a hard time with nerves and anxiety, consider reaching out for anxiety treatment. You’re not alone, and it’s important to be reminded of that as you prepare for the future.

5 Unique Ways to Calm Anxiety

Anxiety is one of the most common mental health conditions in the world. While it can range in severity and affect people differently, there’s a silver lining to it that’s important to keep in mind — it’s often very manageable. 

But, you can only combat anxiety with the right techniques. Trying to beat it on your own can feel like a struggle. So, don’t consider things like “home remedies” to be replacements for professional mental health help. Working with a therapist is often the best way to better understand the root of your anxiety so you can overcome it. 

However, being able to manage your symptoms on a daily basis will help to empower you and give you the strength and confidence you need to fight back. If you’re feeling stuck when it comes to calming anxiety on your own, let’s cover five unique things you can start doing right away.

1. Go Outside

If anxiety feels overwhelming at times, don’t confine yourself to a specific space. Instead, step outside and get some fresh air. The change of scenery alone can help to distract your anxious mind. 

Beyond that, though, there are plenty of mental health benefits associated with nature. It can reduce stress, calm your anxiety, boost your energy, and improve your overall mental well-being. Even spending just a few minutes outside each day or when you’re feeling especially anxious can make it easier to calm down and find more control.

2. Practice Meditation

Unfortunately, meditation is still often stereotyped today. You might have seen depictions of it in movies or television shows and have assumed it’s not for you. 

But, meditation isn’t about specific chants or noises. You don’t need to sit in a certain position or practice any kind of ritual. 

Instead, close your eyes, focus on taking slow, deep breaths, and stay centered on the present. If you’re new to meditation, try using a guided meditation app or work along with a video to get started. Meditation can quickly become a wonderful addition to your self-care routine as you fight anxiety. 

3. Get Creative

One of the best ways to calm anxiety quickly is to distract yourself from it. Take a break from what you’re doing and engage your mind in something else. Doing something creative can help to pull your attention away from your anxious thoughts. So, try drawing a picture, listening to music, or even dancing around the room. Join an art class once a week to help to distract you and give you something to look forward to.

Distraction from anxiety isn’t a permanent fix, but it can make it easier to get out of your head for a while so you don’t feel so overwhelmed. 

4. Break a Sweat

Most people understand the importance of regular exercise for physical health. But, it’s great for your mental well-being, too! 

Exercise can quickly help to reduce stress and anxiety, improve your mood, and give you feelings of happiness that last for hours after your workout. You don’t need to run a marathon or go to the gym for an hour each day to experience the mental health benefits of exercise. Find something that works for you, and you’ll be more likely to stick with it.

5. Start Journaling

You don’t have to be a great writer to benefit from journaling. Carrying a small notebook with you can be a more useful tool than you might realize. 

Sometimes, all it takes to fight back against anxious thoughts is to get them out in the open. But, whether you don’t have anyone to talk to at any given moment, or you’re not comfortable opening up, getting those thoughts out there isn’t always an option. 

Journaling is the next best thing. Not only does it allow you to write down your anxious thoughts to get them out of your mind, but you can use it as a sort of log to see how far you’ve come in your journey with anxiety. 

Again, talking to a mental health professional is often the best way to overcome anxiety. But, if you’re trying to fight back against your symptoms each day, try some of these techniques to help you calm down and feel more in control.  Reach out to us to learn more about anxiety therapy.

How To Practice Positive Parenting With Your Child

Positive parenting isn’t necessarily a new approach to raising children. However, it’s gained traction over the last few years thanks to the benefits. Studies have shown that positive parenting can boost a child’s self-esteem, help them do better in school, and improve their overall mental health. 

Additionally, when you practice positive parenting, you’re serving as a role model for your children. When you treat them with kindness, respect, and compassion, they’re likely to treat others the same way. 

Of course, positive parenting isn’t about ignoring problems or avoiding healthy discipline. So, how can you make sure you’re getting it right? 

Let’s cover some positive parenting practices you can use right away with your child. 

What Is Positive Parenting? 

Before you dive into the world of positive parenting, you have to know what it looks like and how it will fit with your family. 

Positive parenting focuses on the relationship between you and your child. It is the practice of recognizing what your child needs and providing it in a caring, loving, and kind way. That doesn’t mean giving them every little thing they want. Positive parenting doesn’t mean there’s no discipline or rules. 

However, instead of “traditional” punishments, positive parenting focuses on how you can guide your child to make the right choices. You’ll learn how to effectively communicate with your child, and they’ll learn what’s necessary to communicate right back. When they’re able to express their needs in healthy, effective ways, there is less likely to be any discord in your relationship. 

Positive parenting also focuses on the importance of healthy boundaries. Boundaries can improve just about any relationship, but they’re especially effective for parents and kids. When your child knows the boundaries that are in place, they have a choice to stay within those boundaries. When they don’t, there are consequences that need to be laid out ahead of time so they understand exactly how they will be disciplined for crossing a line. 

How to Introduce Positive Parenting

So, how can you be a more positive parent? You don’t have to completely change your parenting style to start introducing aspects of positive parenting into your life. 

Start by communicating with your child more often. Talk to them about their day, or get involved in their interests and hobbies. Open communication builds trust and intimacy. Your child will also feel respected and understood, and they’re more likely to offer the same respect, in return. 

Set limits by giving your child choices. When you dictate every little choice in their life, they’re not going to be able to grow like they should when it comes to problem-solving and critical thinking. They might also feel stifled. While you’re still in charge of the choice, give your child some options you’re okay with for them to choose from. Giving them this bit of responsibility while still having limits in place can provide more balance to your relationship. 

Finally, praise them for the good things you see. Far too often, parents are quick to focus on the negative behaviors of their children. You might want to discipline your child for behaving poorly, or you might pick out something they did wrong. Instead of dwelling on those things, make sure you’re also pointing out what they get right. 

Celebrating your child’s strengths will boost their self-confidence and make it easier for them to stay on a positive track. 

Positive parenting is all about guidance. It doesn’t mean there will never be setbacks or that you’ll never get frustrated. But, by putting these ideas into practice, you can enjoy a calmer, gentler, and more respectful relationship with your child.  Reach out to learn more about family therapy or child therapy.

Do Women and Men React Differently to Trauma?

Trauma doesn’t discriminate. It also doesn’t specifically seek out or affect one sex over another. It can happen to anyone at any stage of life. However, how people react and process trauma can be different. 

Men and women react to trauma differently in a variety of ways. That reaction carries over into how they cope with trauma, and those coping mechanisms often either make it easier to work through the effects of trauma or make things seem much worse. 

Let’s take a closer look at these different reactions. If you’ve experienced any kind of traumatic event, understanding typical responses and ways of coping might help you realize what you’re going through. More importantly, it can encourage you to reach out for the right kind of help. 

How Do Women React to Trauma?

Research has shown that men are actually more likely to go through traumatic experiences than women. However, women tend to have a harder time working through the effects of trauma. As a result, women are more susceptible to PTSD. 

This is largely due to the fact that women tend to re-experience whatever trauma they went through more often. Things like flashbacks and vivid dreams often make it difficult for women to move forward and get past the trauma they experienced. This can make the trauma feel very fresh, even if it happened years ago. 

So, it should come as no surprise that women who have gone through trauma are more likely to be anxious or depressed. They can often seem jumpy and are typically hypervigilant. 

Women tend to cope with trauma by adopting a “tend and befriend” approach. They feel the need to take care of those around them and to lean into their social circle of friends and family to find support. That isn’t necessarily a bad thing. However, if no support is available, it can exacerbate the symptoms of PTSD and increase the risk of trying unhealthy coping mechanisms. 

How Do Men React to Trauma?

Men are more likely to experience trauma largely because they’re at a greater risk of things like physical assault, accidents, or experiencing different disasters. How they react and process that trauma is very different from women. The “fight or flight” response in men who have experienced trauma is often in full force. 

Societal norms come into play when it comes to how men react to trauma. It’s not uncommon for them to experience anger. However, it’s often a mask to cover up deeper emotions that might not be considered “strong” by societal standards. Under the surface, it’s not uncommon for men who have experienced trauma to feel fearful, anxious, sad, or even frustrated. 

Men tend to have a harder time accepting and processing these emotions. So, they lean into anger and cope with things by showing as much strength as they can. 

As a positive, men are more likely to take a focused and determined approach to overcoming the effects of trauma. They want to problem-solve and figure out ways to move past it. There are healthy ways to do that, of course. But, there are also unhealthy coping mechanisms that can creep in, especially for men who aren’t willing to dive deeper into their own emotions. 

What Can You Do?

Again, trauma doesn’t discriminate by gender. Whether you’re a man or a woman, the long-lasting effects of a traumatic experience can make it difficult to live your life to the fullest. You might feel tied to your trauma and unable to move forward. 

No matter who you are, therapy is often the best way to deal with a traumatic experience. A therapist can help you better understand what you went through and the emotions it’s causing. You’ll also learn healthy coping mechanisms that can help you move forward so your trauma won’t define your thoughts, feelings, and actions forever. 

Reach out to learn more about trauma therapy.

Is It Common To Be Depressed After the Holidays Are Over?

The holiday season is behind us, and while a new year can bring new opportunities and growth, it can also cause you to feel a bit down. 

No matter what or how you celebrate, there’s something special about the holidays. The lights, the smells, the get-togethers with family and friends all provide a celebratory feel that’s hard to replicate any other time of year. 

For some people, winter has really just begun. Cold, dark days, combined with slow months of “nothing” to celebrate, can cause you to become unmotivated, sad, or even depressed. 

Yes, it’s perfectly common to be depressed after the holidays are over. Let’s dig a little deeper into why and what you can do about it. 

The Post-Holiday Blues

There are several reasons why you might feel low after the holidays. First, you’re likely heavily distracted throughout the holiday season. Cooking, baking, shopping, decorating, and even cleaning keep you occupied. If you already struggle with depression or anxiety, these things can give you a greater sense of purpose. They can keep your negative thoughts at bay and give you something positive to focus on. 

Once the holiday is over, those distractions are gone. The depression you’ve been able to “avoid” for several weeks might feel like it’s suddenly stepping forward stronger than ever. 

The holidays also often bring a sense of nostalgia. You spend time with people you love and share memories about celebrations from the past. Simply being around people and thinking about happy memories can boost your mood, give you more energy, and provide a more positive outlook. 

When those people leave, and the decorations seem to come down quickly, it can be jarring, confusing, and sad. 

Recovering From the Holidays

Another reason people tend to get depressed after the holidays is that it’s the first time you might have to cope with all of the stress the season caused. 

No matter how much you love the holidays, there’s no denying that it can be chaotic. You might spend more money than you typically do. Your schedule is busier. You might be hosting family, or you might have to travel. Even if those things are enjoyable, they take a toll, and you probably won’t have much time to rest. 

Sometimes, post-holiday depression can stem from all of that stress catching up with you. It’s your first opportunity to rest and recover, and it can feel overwhelming. 

What Can You Do?

You can’t keep the holiday season from ending abruptly. However, there are some things you can do to fight off depression as the season comes to a close. 

First, try to keep spending time with people you care about. Get together for dinner with friends. Invite your family over for a game night. Get-togethers might not be as large as they are during the holiday season, but you can still make them happen. Being around people instead of isolating yourself is a great way to combat depression. 

Additionally, make sure you’re practicing self-care. Get enough sleep. Spend time outdoors. Exercise. Eat healthy foods. Prioritizing your well-being will not only reduce symptoms of depression, but it can make you feel better throughout the year. 

Finally, don’t hesitate to talk to a mental health professional if you’re really struggling. Your depression might stem from something deeper beneath the surface, and a therapist can help you work through it. The worst thing you can do is try to “fix” things on your own with unhealthy coping mechanisms until the holidays roll around again. Reach out for depression therapy if you need someone to talk to, and don’t let depression control your life throughout the rest of the year. 

4 Tips For Managing Anxiety During The New Year

The new year is officially here. It’s a time of renewal and looking at things with a clean slate. Whether you make resolutions or not, it’s hard not to feel like there’s a chance to do something different when a new year comes along. 

But, not everyone gets excited about the idea of a new year and new chapter. In fact, it can cause a lot of anxiety. You might feel pressured to make resolutions and changes. You might feel like you’re “behind” somehow. 

Or, you might just be feeling the stress left over from the holidays and wondering if this year could somehow be different. 

The last thing you want is to start a new year feeling overwhelmed with anxiety. By learning how to manage it now, you don’t have to let it control you for the rest of the year. Let’s cover a few tips you can use to manage your symptoms.

1. Prioritize Self-Care

Self-care doesn’t have to be a resolution that fades away after a few weeks. It’s something that’s important for everyone. Things like getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising are all wonderful forms of self-care. Not only are they good for your physical health, but they can also fight back against anxiety. 

More mental health-focused activities like mindfulness, meditation, and journaling can also help you take control of your anxious thoughts. Just a few minutes of self-care practice every day can make a big difference.

2. Spend Time Outside

Nature is a wonderful healer. Multiple studies have shown the mental health benefits of spending time outside each day. It can reduce stress, improve your mood, and give you more energy. 

It can also ease feelings of anxiety, and improve your attitude of gratitude. When you spend time in nature, you’re more likely to be mindful of the moment. You’ll feel more present and appreciative of the things around you. As a result, you won’t be as tempted to worry about the past or future. 

3. Don’t Isolate Yourself

Have you ever wondered why your anxiety seems to get worse when you spend a lot of time alone? When you’re around people or keeping yourself busy, you’re also distracting yourself. While that’s not a permanent solution for getting rid of anxiety, it helps. 

You might be tempted to push everyone away and isolate yourself when you’re struggling with anxious thoughts. But, that will likely make those thoughts worse. 

Instead, stay connected with family and friends as much as possible. Don’t hesitate to tell them about how you’re feeling. Let your support system be there for you. 

If you’re concerned about opening up that way to loved ones, consider joining a support group. Sometimes, surrounding yourself with people who are going through the same struggles can help you find hope.

4. Talk to a Professional

One of the best things you can do for yourself this year is to take charge of your mental health. If you’re struggling with anxiety, don’t hesitate to talk to a mental health professional. 

Anxiety is one of the most common mental health conditions in the world. Thankfully, it’s also one of the most manageable. But, it’s rare to be able to overcome it on your own. Working with a therapist is often the best way to beat anxiety. You won’t just learn to manage the symptoms, but the condition itself. 

Anxiety treatment can help you uncover the root cause of your anxiety. You’ll also learn your triggers. Starting from the ground up might not be easy, but it’s better for your long-term success. Reach out to learn more. 

No matter your goals for the new year, anxiety doesn’t have to define who you are. Keep these tips in mind and consider reaching out for help to fight back.